DAMASCUS: ‘Alloosh is almost finished. His claims to having 1000 rockets to fire at innocent Damascene civilians has proven to be a chimera. His ranks are dwindling because of defections, surrenders and deaths. His efforts to negotiate a way out of Douma’s toxic environment have proven to be out of touch with reality. No.…
DAMASCUS: Have you ever seen such a beautiful sight as three hundred blind mice? That’s what’s left of the pockets of rodents inside Al-Zabadaani. And, they are all foreigners determined to die in order to achieve their life-long dream of a Paradise where they are promised 72 Virginians by their own favorite deity, Mephistopheles…
DAMASCUS: I told you the town of Al-Zabadaani is now fully in the hands of the SAA and the Lebanese Resistance. I meant that. And, it’s true. Last night a report arrived to our source which provided that 177 rodents belonging mostly to Al-Nusra/Alqaeda have been confirmed killed in the last 24 hours alone. The…
AL-HASAKA: Remember all the hype in the Western Lie-Machine about how Al-Hasaka was going to fall to ISIS? Remember the trolls? Well, it just doesn’t seem to be going the way everybody in the West wanted. I guess the combination of a superior Syrian Army, Popular Defense Committees, local tribal units loyal to the Syrian…
DAMASCUS: The Syrian Army High Command issued the following communique yesterday concerning military developments in the Qalamoon. (Translation by Ziad Abu Fadel, Esq., Michigan Supreme Court certified translator): “The operations of the army and the armed forces in cooperation with Popular Defense Units and the Lebanese National Resistance continue in order to achieve complete control…
DAMASCUS: Harastaa: A large network of tunnels was uncovered by the SAA here between the Electrical Institute and the Sports Arena. One tunnel was 30 meters long and connected to another 200 meters long. The tunnels were ventilated with fans and had lighting. Inside, the SAA found a factory for assembling IEDs and other…
DAMASCUS: Khaan Al-Shaykh: They just can’t get it right. A multi-pronged attack on SAA outposts in the farm area of Khaan Al-Shaykh was foiled decisively by the SAA. Dead Syrian rodents here were name as follows: Mustafaa Iskandar ‘Amr Sulaymaan Muhammad Al-Hamdaan Muhammad ‘Ali Zhareef Faarooq ‘Abdul-Ghafoor Siqlaawi ‘Aarif Hassan Abu-Jawdat Sultaan Al-Shaykh Hassan…
DAMASCUS PROVINCE: Tallat Dhuhoor Al-Baydar: Another strategic elevation over Al-Zabadaani was liberated yesterday by the SAA. This was once occupied by the Alqaeda/Nusra group of terrorists supported by units of Ahraar Al-Shaam. Weapons and ammunition were left behind by the terrorist rats who fled toward their Zionist masters. According to Monzer, early reports indicate…