August 5th, 2015 09:06 am    196 comments

ANNIHILATED IN DAMASCUS: SYRIAN ARMY GRINDS ‘ALLOOSH AND HIS GANG INTO THE MANURE PILE

  DAMASCUS:  ‘Alloosh is almost finished.  His claims to having 1000 rockets to fire at innocent Damascene civilians has proven to be a chimera.  His ranks are dwindling because of defections, surrenders and deaths.  His efforts to negotiate a way out of Douma’s toxic environment have proven to be out of touch with reality.  No.…

July 10th, 2015 11:13 am    20 comments

300 BLIND MICE; SEE HOW THEY RUN; SAA AND HZB CUT OFF THEIR TAILS WITH A CARVING KNIFE

  DAMASCUS:  Have you ever seen such a beautiful sight as three hundred blind mice?  That’s what’s left of the pockets of rodents inside Al-Zabadaani.  And, they are all foreigners determined to die in order to achieve their life-long dream of a Paradise where they are promised 72 Virginians by their own favorite deity, Mephistopheles…

July 6th, 2015 01:14 pm    122 comments

AL-ZABADAANI: 177 NUSRA RODENTS KILLED IN CLEAN-UP OPERATIONS; GHOUTAA RATS ANNIHILATED, 17 BURIED ALIVE IN TUNNEL; DER’AH’S RODENTS FOLLOW THE PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN

DAMASCUS:  I told you the town of Al-Zabadaani is now fully in the hands of the SAA and the Lebanese Resistance.  I meant that. And, it’s true.  Last night a report arrived to our source which provided that 177 rodents belonging mostly to Al-Nusra/Alqaeda have been confirmed killed in the last 24 hours alone.  The…

June 7th, 2015 08:58 am    162 comments

SYRIAN ARMY OUSTS ISIS IN AL-HASAKA; STUNNING REVERSALS FOR ALQAEDA IN DAMASCUS- NUSRA PLEADING FOR REINFORCEMENTS; STUPID JORDANIANS TWIDDLING THEIR SIMIAN THUMBS

AL-HASAKA:  Remember all the hype in the Western Lie-Machine about how Al-Hasaka was going to fall to ISIS?  Remember the trolls?  Well, it just doesn’t seem to be going the way everybody in the West wanted.  I guess the combination of a superior Syrian Army, Popular Defense Committees, local tribal units loyal to the Syrian…

June 6th, 2015 07:39 am    40 comments

FALEETAA LIBERATED TOTALLY! SYRIAN ARMY AND ALLIES SLASH TERRORIST ARTERIES IN DAMASCUS; SUPPLY ROUTES PLUGGED AS ALQAEDA FOLDS

DAMASCUS:  The Syrian Army High Command issued the following communique yesterday concerning military developments in the Qalamoon. (Translation by Ziad Abu Fadel, Esq., Michigan Supreme Court certified translator): “The operations of the army and the armed forces in cooperation with Popular Defense Units and the Lebanese National Resistance continue in order to achieve complete control…

June 4th, 2015 07:43 am    31 comments

HARASTAA’S TUNNELS DESTROYED COMPLETELY BY SYRIAN ARMY

DAMASCUS:    Harastaa:  A large network of tunnels was uncovered by the SAA here between the Electrical Institute and the Sports Arena.  One tunnel was 30 meters long and connected to another 200 meters long.  The tunnels were ventilated with fans and had lighting.  Inside, the SAA found a factory for assembling IEDs and other…

May 24th, 2015 12:00 pm    235 comments

TERRORISTS MASSACRED TRYING TO ATTACK SAA POSITIONS IN KHAAN AL-SHAYKH; DER’AH’S TERRORISTS DYING IN THE HUNDREDS

DAMASCUS:    Khaan Al-Shaykh:  They just can’t get it right.  A multi-pronged attack on SAA outposts in the farm area of Khaan Al-Shaykh was foiled decisively by the SAA.  Dead Syrian rodents here were name as follows: Mustafaa Iskandar ‘Amr Sulaymaan Muhammad Al-Hamdaan Muhammad ‘Ali Zhareef Faarooq ‘Abdul-Ghafoor Siqlaawi ‘Aarif Hassan Abu-Jawdat Sultaan Al-Shaykh Hassan…

March 31st, 2015 11:43 am    291 comments

SYRIAN ARMY JUGGERNAUT IN ZABADAANI; MORE CRUCIAL ELEVATIONS CONQUERED FROM RATS

DAMASCUS PROVINCE:   Tallat Dhuhoor Al-Baydar:  Another strategic elevation over Al-Zabadaani was liberated yesterday by the SAA.  This was once occupied by the Alqaeda/Nusra group of terrorists supported by units of Ahraar Al-Shaam.  Weapons and ammunition were left behind by the terrorist rats who fled toward their Zionist masters.  According to Monzer, early reports indicate…