DAMASCUS: Those who predict the rodents will come close to the capital, had better stop chewing on brownies laced with marijuana. It just can’t happen. The Southern Front is a major disaster with the Big Surprise playing a role far in excess of the expected and the Qalamoon/Qunaytra fronts collapsing despite significant Zionist investment.
Al-Khazrajiyya: This village is in the southwestern rural area of Damascus just a few clicks west of Sa’sa’. All rats belonging to the Alqaeda/Nusra constellation of terrorist groups were killed to the tune of 22. Nobody survived the SAA assault on the rat positions:
Salmaan Hussayn Baarood
Ismaa’eel Shafeeq Qaazaan
The rest were all carrying forged papers and are suspected foreigners.
Al-Rasheeda Village: 30 kms east of the city. The Water Reservoir Complex which the ISIS rodents used to conceal weapons and ammunition and where they hid to avoid the constant attacks of the Syrian Army were the subject of a surprise raid this morning. The area was first studied by a drone aircraft as the SAA was surrounding the area. Once it was clear that the rodents were mostly sleeping with only 3 rodents on guard duty, the order to attack was given. The entire attack was unique and now reflects the new strategy of the SAA in combat operations: less use of conventional armor and more use of infantry. The rats were caught completely unawares and were all killed as they tried to recover from the shock of seeing 200 SAA and PDC troops blasting away at their rat abdomens.
Other fighting reported 3 days ago in Rajm Al-Dawla Village and Tal Al-Buthayna where 4 pickups with 23mm cannons were destroyed.
ALERT TO READERS: SYRIA HAS ACQUIRED A LARGE SUPPLY OF NEW WEAPONS WHICH IT IS NOW ABSORBING. EXPECT TO SEE SOME FANTASTIC RAT-STATS OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS.