Former Yemeni president and strongman, ‘Ali ‘Abdullah Saalih, bids farewell to Saudi Arabia’s Chief of the Air Force.
(Washington D.C.) Syrian Perspective has learned that the chief of the Saudi Air Force, One Star “General” Muhammad Ibn Ahmad Al-Sha’laan, has succumbed to the AIDS virus after years of struggle to keep the virulent disease a family secret. Al-Sha’laan apparently fell asleep during a meeting with outgoing American Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Martin Dempsey, who was reportedly regaling the Saudi with long stories about his golf outings. The Saudi general was spirited to the the Walter Reade Hospital after efforts to awaken him failed. After General Dempsey poured a carafe of iced gin martinis on his head and kicked him repeatedly in the groin, everyone agreed he should be taken for emergency treatment. When his military tunic was removed, hundreds of black scars were detected and the staff was heard to joke that the general had a “lot of melanin”. But Kaposi’s Sarcoma was the eventual diagnosis.
General Al-Sha’laan is seen here in a photograph taken at a K-Mart booth in Crystal City near Washington. General Al-Sha’laan had a morbid fear of flying and always traveled by ship or train, hence his two weeks aboard the Italian luxury cruise ship the “Leonardo Da Vinci” in order to attend the meeting at the Pentagon.
General Al-Sha’laan had a case of AIDS so advanced and complex the staff at Walter Reade could not treat him. Pathology of his blood indicated a mystifying cellular abnormality qualifying the general as essentially a “green monkey”. Veterinarians from the Georgetown University School of Animal Sciences were brought in for consultation and their prognosis was unanimous: “The general is a Saudi ape with incurable HIV.”
Saudi Arabia has the highest rate of AIDS in the Arab World. Child molesting, homosexuality, pederasty, pedophilia and sodomy are given as the major reasons for its prevalence in Saudi Arabia. One German epidemiologist, Herr Doktor Baldur Hasenpfeffer, opined that Saudi Arabia’s population should not even exist since almost all the males prefer other males or little boys. And so, we come to General Al-Sha’laan.
Saudi Arabia is also the cradle of MERS or Middle East Respiratory Syndrome which is now bedeviling South Korea. All patients with that condition traveled to the Arabian Peninsula and returned with the often fatal disease.
General Al-Sha’laan is survived by his wife “Ahmad Al-Sudayri”, and some adopted Eastern European male orphans aged 6 to 11 years.