DER’AH: This report should be read in conjunction with the earlier on we published this morning EST. We can confirm that the Syrian Army aided by hundreds of volunteers in our National Defense Forces (PDC) have smashed an attempted infiltration into the Manshiyya Quarter of Der’ah last night, Damascus time. It was a massacre. Evidently, SAA-MI had intercepted messages between rat groups, this time Nusra/Alqaeda and Harakat Al-Muthanna Al-Islamiyya. The operational details were set out for the SAA with incredibly stupid clarity. Once the plan was detected, more than sufficient troops were detailed to the area armed with Kornet launchers, sharpshooters, infantry and Shilkas. Monzer writes that the attack was disastrous for the rodents. No sooner had they launched their assault than the SAA sprang the trap shooting over 40 rodents in the first wave, destroying 6 pickups with 23mm cannons, 3 armored cars, all lining up like ducks behind a loaded Mercedes truck with Jordanian license plates. The area will be assessed tomorrow morning as flies and vultures descend upon the carcasses. Monzer says specialized units of the SAA are roving the area looking for foreign rodents to kill.
Bayt Jinn: Around the farms and the forest lands, the SAA and SAAF clobbered the ugly, bearded, oily, malodorous rodents of Alqaeda with a barrage of fire killing an estimated 15 and wounding scores. The details are being prepared.
Al-Tilaal Al-Humur: (The Red Hills). The SAA and PDC have killed scores of vultures here in an area that connects Mt. Hermon to Jibaataa Al-Khashab and Mashaati Hadhar cutting all supply lines to Khaan Al-Shaykh. Major event that makes Zionists gnash their teeth. Take note that the rat group fighting here calls itself the Hebraic Jaysh Al-Hirmoon.
Heavy fighting in Al-Hurriyya Village, Al-Hameediyya, Ufaaniyaa at the cemetery, Mas-hara.
FATHER NATHANAEL’S CORNER: I hate John Hagee and hope he enjoys his next coronary:
WILE E. COYOTE MOMENT: (thanks, Canthama)