DAMASCUS: WE TOLD YOU SO. It’s only a matter of clean-up before the MoD announces the “complete” delousing of Jawbar. Incredibly, the SAA, using new technology, has unearthed a network of tunnels each with a three-pronged design extending for no less than 150 meters. Just a few hours ago these mostly foreign vermin were put to death as they huddled like frightened rats in the crevices of the sewers they inhabited:
- Sultaan Al-Qurayshi (SAUDI ARABIAN APE VOMIT AND MONKEY MOLESTER)
- Jamaal Al-Shareedi (LIBYAN BARBARY APE RECTUM)
- ‘Abdullah Fathi (EGYPTIAN SMOKED SWINE)
- Muhyi Al-Deen Al-Saraayiri
Another 26 could not be identified readily because their papers were forged or stolen.
‘Ayn Turmaa: Clean-up caught these stinking simian hemorrhoids belonging to the illustrious Liwaa` Al-Faarooq, yawn:
- Al-‘Abbaadi Al-Mansoori (TUNISIAN TOAD EXUDATE)
- Bassaam Bannoos (LIBYAN PIG STOOL)
- “Abu Al-Noor Al-Maleehaani” (Id pending)
Qaws Misraabaa: South of Doumaa. SAA killed these:
- Nu’maan ‘Aashoor (KUWAITI FAGGOT AND PEDOPHILE. Called an explosive expert)
- Mut’ib Al-Musfir (QATARI BANANA FUNGUS)
Doumaa: ‘Alloosh knows his days are numbered. At the rear of the Avicenna Hospital, the SAA dismantled IEDs placed there to stall the advance of the army. When the sappers finished cleaning up the network of booby-traps and mines, the SAA rammed its way into the center of the area and killed a reported 66 rats. They are being identified now as I write, but, you know its getting dark over there and it might tomorrow before they know the extent of the disaster that has befalles ‘Alloosh’s degenerates. It is also reported to SyrPer that ‘Alloosh himself could have been among the killed.
‘Irbeen at the Bridge Quarter: Confirmed 38 rats as the area is being assessed.