In a stunning rebuke to the entire Lebanese government, the only woman in the caretaker cabinet, Alice Shabteeni, has offered herself as a substitute hostage for the Lebanese soldiers and policemen held by the terrorists of ‘Arsaal. This has come after the families of the hostages expressed boundless contempt for the existing government of Tammaam Salaam (crypto-Turk) by demanding that Lebanese Army Chief of Staff, Jean Kahwaji, arrest all 24 cabinet members and offer them in exchange to the hostage takers. Needless to say, the cabinet members were not amused and chalked up the proposal to ordinary, but understandable, frustration since the Beirut government has been less than energetic in securing the release of their loved ones. But, the terrorists got word of the proposed swap in which they would receive all 24 cabinet members and rejected it outright declaring, in a Twitter post, that they are not in the business of collecting bladders of hot air. Enter Alice Shabteeni.
M.P. Shabteeni sent her photograph to Abu Muhammad Al-Jawlaani via the Saudi ambassador who promised it would arrive on the terrorist leader’s desk “within the hour”. Evidently, it did! The Nusra leader responded in less than five seconds by rejecting Ms. Shabteeni’s offer citing her “age and beaten up appearance”. Mr. Al-Jawlaani added that: “While we understand Ms. Shateeni’s willingness to be a sex partner for Jihad, her “kaafera” status and slovenly, petit bourgeois manners, leave much to be desired. She might want to try ISIS or Zahraan ‘Alloosh.”
Not to be deterrred, Ms. Shabteeni threatened to join the nunnery at Ma’loolaa in Syria to be “at the side of fellow hostage, Sister Pelagia.” According to informed sources, General Kahwaji responded: “That can be arranged.” However, Sister Pelagia rejected that offer too, citing Ms. Shabteeni’s Maronite Catholicism, a heresy! With nobody willing to accept her, M.P. Shabteeni vowed to stay in government and finish her work. When asked what her work might be, she quietly walked away with a smile.