JAWBAR: Once Jawbar is conquered, the East Ghouta will be completely secure. This is the end for the rats. Once Al-Maleeha fell, not only did Zahraan ‘Alloosh obtain his own death warrant, but the entire south-to-eastern fronts fell apart. Yesterday, more blocks in the direction of the Al-Tayyiba Mosque and other areas were subject to the inevitable march of the SAA and NDF. Artillery fire is precise and devastating. Yesterday, the SAA killed these identified marsupials:
Naader ‘Ajaaj (PALESTEEZIAN COYOTE SPITTLE)
Sa’eed Jaassem Al-Tabtabi (var: Al-Tabatabaa`iy. He probably changed the spelling to de-Jaafarize it. KUWAITI CREAMPUFF)
Another 12 were not identified.
Al-‘Aaliya Farms: In the Doumaa area. This is where ‘Alloosh will find the Devil. A pack of rats belonging to the Jaysh Al-Islam (now merged with Al-Ittihaad Al-Islaami Li-Ajnaad Al-Shaam, yawn) was wiped off the map:
Muhammad Khibya (This family has about run out of males)
Raateb Sulayk (var: Saleek)
Khaan Al-Shaykh: Annihilation was the motto of the SAA yesterday as more than 67 rodents met their end here. Almost all were foreign mercenaries. Near the distillery (Ziad’s favorite), the Agricultural Foundation, Nestle Street and behind the Sundus Building, scores of rats went down the pipe to the Main Sewer in Hell. No names are available since the majority are foreigners carrying invalid identification. It is very likely we will never know who these rats are since their carcasses will be rendered into a trillion particles of ash.
Khaan Al-Shaykh: West of the Villas area near the Al-Manshiyya School. No details about a pack of rats and their voyage to the Orifice of Oblivion.
Al-Zabadaani: At the Radio Station Quarter and ‘Aara Neighborhood, these cockroacheds were dispatched to the Stygian shores:
Salaam Highway: An attempted infiltration into this area resulted in 10 carcasses, wrapped and ready to go straight to Satan’s Buffet. No names.
‘Adraa Town: A skirmish at the olive oil press resulted in 6 Jabha Al-Islamiyya hyenas yelping their way to the polar climes of Hades. No names.
Fighting reported also at these locations: Al-Sindiyaana, Al-Hijaariyya Farms, Al-Husayniyya Farms.
Daarayyaa: East of the Sayyida Sukayna (var: Ruqayyaa) Shrine, the SAA killed this worm:
“Abu Khaaled Shu’ayb (Id pending. Rat leader)
This front is going the same as Der’ah. There is a big surprise awaiting the Zionist Settlers, too. The FSA offshoot which is commanded by Chief Yokel, ‘Abdul-Ilaah Al-Basheer, might as well be led by Mr. Rogers. This King Rat is about as smart Joan Rivers in her hospital bed.
Qunaytra City: At the empty hospital, a pickup with 23mm cannon donated by Saudi Arabia was turned to dross by an SAA rocket. Also, at the bank and the cinema (they’re still advertising 2001: A Space Odyssey) another pickup was targeted and destroyed. No names available.
Umm Baatina/Umm Al-‘Izhaam: 2 pickups with 23mm cannons were destroyed. All aboard reportedly killed.
Al-Samdaaniyya School: 6 rodent flatbeds with rodent cannons went bye-bye yesterday. Total dead? 14 with 11 wounded and warbling.
Burayqa: 1 pickup with 23mm cannon destroyed here. No names.
East of ‘Ayn Al-Darb: Another pickup with 23mm cannon was sent to Mephisto’s Junkyard along with its passengers.
Tal Kuroom (Hill of Grapevines)/Jibba: Another flatbed bites the dust along with its cannon.
Al-‘Ajraf: And another pickup with 23mm cannon destroyed. It seems like the Zionist Settler gangsters are setting these rubes up for disaster.
Hirsh Majdoolyaa: Whoah there Pilgrim! Are you saying another pickup with 23mm cannon was destroyed? Yep.
Bi`r ‘Ajam: And another Toyota flatbed with 23mm cannon was destroyed.
South Umm Baatina at Al-Mushrifa Lands: 8 rodents were trapped and dispatched by the Orkin Man.
Al-Ruwayhana/Umm Baatina Road: A convoy coming from behind Zionist lines was subject to massive artillery fire and destroyed. The rats who survived are being treated and newly-created field hospitals run by Zionist veterinarians.
Fighting also in: Jibbaa, Rasm Al-Shawaali, Tishreen Farms