Showing solidarity with all “moderate” Muslims, David Cameron, Barack Obama and Anders “Fag” Rasmussen pray to a Beneficent Allah for help in ridding the world of their own creation, the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria. The scene brought people to their knees laughing.
Cardiff, Wales (UK): Brunhilde Liebesbombe reporting for Mercury News Service (MNS). America’s president, Barack Hussein Obama, has taken his comedy troupe to Cardiff, Wales in the United Kingdom to entertain the world once again with his singularly unique style of comedy. MNS was invited to attend the ceremonies at the WDYSREHHANDOSHOIG and HTITIDAEISNABITNUADNBIDHOIH Pub in Cardiff inaugurating Mr. Obama’s new comedy team made up of David Cameron his traditional white straight man, Anders “Fag” Rasmussen also known as the “Gay Danish Dupayash”, Ahmed Davutoghlu, a/k/a “Ugly Igloo the Turkish Dwarf”, Angela Merkel “Das Schlampchen” and Francois Hollande, France’s most despised leader since Adolph Hitler – but its most popular comedian. What a spectacular lineup of talent! But, cameo appearances by Arabian jokesters like King Abdullah of Jordan added not only spice to the entire affair but a hint of empathy for all the short people like the Turkish Prime Minister who had to hide the milk box upon which he stood when addressing the audience.
In a skit titled “We Love Ayraabs”, Mr. Obama grinningly shows King Abdullah of Jordan the bottoms of his shoes. The scene had the audience vomiting with laughter especially with the closing lines: “Lick this, camel jockey!”. (hysterical guffaws).
The program started with Mr. Obama’s opening monologue. It was crisp, to the point and gut-splittingly funny:
“Hi, folks. I’m Barack Hussein Obama. I’m here to tell you we’re gonna destroy ISIS, but, we can’t do that and look like we’re helping Assad.” (Wild laughter)
“ISIS is a vicious organization bent on nothing but mass killing. We oppose their program because mass killing is the prerogative of the United States only.” (Violent laughter)
“It’s great being here in Wales. We were going to change the location to London, but, my staff didn’t want to welsh on you, ha ha.” (Wild applause)
“We can’t invite Putin to this meeting because he’s got his tanks in the Ukraine. And he can’t invite us to Syria because we have our terrorists there. Go figure.” (Uncontrolled laughter)
(Photo image: Freakingnews)
Obama then sang one of his signature songs, “Drone on Sweet Chariot” which enraptured the audience:
“Drone on Sweet Chariot,
Coming forth to take Awlaki home,
Drone on Sweet Chariot,
We are an all-American Drone.”
Anders “Fag” Rasmussen stole the show with his stand-up routine poking fun at his dysfunctional Danish life as a young man:
“You know, in Denmark, everybody is named Rasmussen. My mother was Rasmussen Rasmussen. And my father was named, Rasmussen Rasmussen. So what did I do? I became gay and joined NATO. It was that or the BBC.” (The audience gives itself over to a paroxysm of laughter).
“I always wanted to command NATO because it had so many handsome young men. It was like being Rock Hudson commanding a submarine on its way to the North Pole. Get it? Ice Station Zebra? Get it?” (Vigorous laughter)
“You know what my favorite leather bar is? The one called “English Leather”. Oh, you Brits are so sexy. Spank me! Spank me!” (Eruption of laughter)
The only awkward moment during the program was when newly elected Turkish Prime Minister, Ahmed Davutoghlu, came on stage dressed in nylons and women’s undergarments, possibly impersonating Xaviera Hollander, Ed Wood, Tim Curry or Dustin Hoffman.
Davutoghlu talks to reporters just before his remarkable appearance on the stage. He used an empty laundry bucket to stand on.
The audience survived the spectacle. Mr. Obama is expected to take his show next to Reykjavik.