BA’ATH PARTY sources are publishing a new report based on an interview with Aitoogh Ayati, Turkish M.P. for the People’s Republican Party revealing on Al-Mayaadeen, the Pan Arab, Pro-Assad, Nasserist news organ, that Erdoghan’s government has been preparing Sarin gas for delivery to terrorist rats in Syria to create a “false flag” event he could use to invade the country – and this after the Seymour Hersh revelations which blew the lid off the entire affair. It is apparent that Erdoghan is not afraid to attack given the now undisputed fact that John Kerry has indicated to his Turkish Lilliputian counterpart, Davutoghlu, that he approved of an invasion. If this is so, our satire of Kerry’s chartering ships to land in northern coastal Syria has proven prescient – if not for the shallowness of the water, then for the shallowness of Mr. Kerry.
Fighting is intensifying in areas the SAA intends to completely liberate over the next few days. These areas are:
Al-Raashideen: Terrorist rodents are desperately trying to hold on here as SAA artillery and aircraft blast whole sections of all areas spotters identify as containing concentrations of vermin. Even the inhabitants who dared to remain are sending signals to the SAA about pest whereabouts.
Fighting reported in these areas: Al-Burayj, Khaan Toomaan, Dhahrat Al-Shurfa, Daarat ‘Izza, Al-Jandool Roundabout, Al-‘Aamiriyya, Central Prison, Industrial Zone, Al-Muslimiyya, Handaraat, Huraytaan, Khaan Al-‘Asal.
Al-Sarkha: Southwest of Yabrood, a den of rodents was rousted and killed by SAA.
- Ma’roof Al-Jazaa`iri
- Zakariyya As’ad ‘Ubaada
- Mustafaa Al-Naa`ili
Another 6 could not be identified.
Al-Maleeha: SAA siezed a large amount of weapons and ammunition belonging to the Jabhat Al-Islam offshoot of Alqaeda at the West entrance to the town.
‘Ayn Turma: Fighting with no details.
Weapons and ammunition confiscated in assault on empty rat den.
‘Aaliya Farms: Fighting with no details.
Jawbar: More bad news for Al-Jabha Al-Islamiyya. 6 dead rats and 2 taken prisoner.
Jubayla Quarter: A tunnel 67 meters long was uncovered and 12 huddled skunks inside were killed. They were given a chance to surrender, but, an alert lieutenant could hear the sounds of rodents preparing a trap and ordered hand grenades thrown into the tunnel which killed all of them.
Skirmishing reported here: ‘Itmaan, Al-Nu’ayma (sniper killed at the Green Mosque), Al-Wardaat, Der’ah City at the Al-Massri Roundabout (nest destroyed), Simleen at the Al-Khazzaan West, Simleen – Inkhil Road.
Old City: 49 rodents surrender to security forces. They were in various states of malnutrition. Aw, shucks!
Al-Rastan: The SAA attacked a nest of vipers, arresting 39 rodents who surprised everyone by surrendering and asking for a Burger King Whopper. The SAA could only offer falafil sandwiches.
RUTH BUZZI MOMENT:
Dudley sends this funny video of some ladies beating the stuffing out of arrested rats on a bus: