Clean-up is such a bother without a bulldozer. Here, our Syrian troops display characteristic respect for dead rodents by giving them the old heave-ho with a spotless one conveniently located in Al-‘Utayba.
DAMASCUS: 357 MEN AVAIL THEMSELVES OF THE AMNESTY PROGRAM THE GOVERNMENT IS OFFERING TO THOSE WITH NO SYRIAN BLOOD ON THEIR HANDS. THE YOUNG MEN ARE FROM THE TWO TOWNS OF BUQQEEN (FAMOUS FOR ITS SPRING WATER) AND MADHAAYAA. SYRPER EXCLUSIVE: 70 OF THEM HAVE ASKED TO JOIN THE NDF.
Reemaa Farms: 2 trucks with weapons and ammunition in the hills surrounding this area were stopped. The drivers were arrested and all contents delivered to the NDF.
Al-Mushrifa to the northwest, SAA ambushed a small group of rats and killed 4 of them with 4 surrendering:
“Abu ‘Ammaar” (Id pending)
The other 2 were not identified.
‘Adraa Town: At the flour mills and Health Network, SAA killed these:
“Abu Mus’ab” (Oh, yawn! Another Abu Mus’ab. JORDANTEEZIAN FLY)
Another 2 could not be identified.
‘Irbeen: At the Mirrors Building, 2 foreign rodents squealed their way to Hell.
Jawbar: 4 rodents of the J.N. were killed east of the Manaasher Roundabout.
Al-Maleeha Farms to the eastern side, skirmishing with no details.
Al-‘Aaliya Farms in Douma: Ditto.
Harastaa: NDF destroyed a truck with weapons and ammunition east of the Police Infirmary. No details.
HOMS: HUGE DEMONSTRATION IN DAYR BA’ALBA, HOMS CITY, IN SUPPORT OF DR. ASSAD AND THE SYRIAN ARMY
Al-Mashjar to the South in Talbeesa, rats were firing a mortar at surrounding villages and the Al-Murayja Quarter in the City. The SAA responded quickly and killed all 16 rats destroying their mortar and cremating the bodies. No names.
Jibaab Hamd – Al-Naasiriyya: No details about skirmishing.
Abu-Al-‘Alaayaa: a rat was attacking citizens and was stopped dead by NDF. Town is in the East rural area of Homs Governorate.
Al-Safsaafa Village, Jawrat Al-Shiyyaah and Al-Warsha: 58 men turned themselves in for consideration under the 2013/70 Amnesty Law.
Jubb Al-Jarraah: Attempted rat infiltration foiled by SAA. No details.
Al-Khaalidiyya – Daar Al-Kabeera Railroad tracks, a number of rats killed by SAA. No details today.
LATAKIA: SUPERBLY EXECUTED OPERATIONS DESTROY CELLS BELONGING TO J.N. RATS:
Al-Shahroora: Another perfectly executed ambush near the Turk border resulted in these carcasses:
Abu ‘Umar Al-‘Iraaqi (IRAQI DINGO DROPPING. Id pending)
Abu Mu’tazz Al-‘Iraaqi (IRAQI JACKAL SPUTUM. Id pending)
Maymoud Al-Buzurayq (LIBYAN SLUG)
Abu Qutayba Al-Idlibi (Id pending. Leader of Hattin Brigades. Hattin is where Saladin routed the Crusaders after his sister was raped. Yawn.)
‘Abdul-Rahmaan Al-Halabi (Leader of Ahraar Al-Shaam)
Abu ‘Abdullah Al-Zubayri (SAUDI ARABIAN SIDE SHOW APE)
Abu ‘Abed Al-Suwaysi (SAUDI ARABIAN HYENA SPUNK)
Raa`ed Al-Aktham (LIBYAN ARMADILLO PERSPIRATION DROPLET)
‘Arfaan Al-Batsh (TUNISIAN LESBIAN BARBARY APE)
Al-Rawdha: This is the last place where Riyaadh Al-As’ad got his chimes rung when the SAAF dropped a thermobaric bomb on him and 32 other “officers” of the FSA, effectively decapitating it. Yesterday, NDF spotted a pair of pick-up trucks festooned with the usual 23mm heading to a warehouse dug partly underground. They killed all the rats and took the 23mm as a trophy: 10 rats killed. No names.
Zaahia Village: Another warehouse was invaded by SAA, a pick-up with 23mm destroyed and 17 rodents killed:
‘Abbaas Khursheed Al-Saadeq
Muhammad Ma’an Jaffaal
Abu Sa’adoon Al-Iraaqi (IRAQI SNAKE PUS. Id pending)
Jaaber Hassan Musulmaani
‘Imaad ‘Ali Kafaadar
I have no other names. 3 were taken prisoner and wounded.
Al-Sawda: A flatbed with 23mm destroyed. No other details.
Salmaa area: between the villages of Dilya, Dureen and Marj Khawkha, a warehouse was found and attacked by SAA. Inside were rockets and launchers. These were killed:
‘Uqayriyyaat in the northern rural area, these were confirmed killed as of last night:
Hanaanu Residencies completely rat-free as of yesterday. Long battle finally paid off as SAA advances inexorably to ‘Anadaan.
Al-Shaykh Sa’eed: SAA has deloused a large factory here as the area’s liberation becomes increasingly likely. Also, a report of an attempted re-infiltration by ousted hyenas was repelled.
Continuous fighting reported in these areas:
Duty Free Zone
North of the Central Prison
Der’ah City: SAA killed 9 rodents at the Art Institute. All were foreigners.
Roman Road in area of Zabaabeer/Al-Haswa Junction, fighting with no details.
Al-Kharaabaat: 21 rodents go down with their 7 flatbeds and mounted 23mm aa cannons as they attacked a checkpoint backed by a full battalion of SAA:
Abu Haajar (JORDANTEEZIAN TOOTH DECAY)
Fawwaaz Ahmad Al-Nahaar
Muhammad Mustafaa Al-Zu’bi
Ibraaheem Yaaseen Al-Balakhi
Rabee’ Suhayl Al-Hanash
The others were not identified and are believed to be mostly Jordanteezian or Palesteezians.
READER ALERT: ALTHOUGH THE PAKISTANI AUTHORITIES CLAIM TO HAVE NOT SENT ANY WEAPONS TO THE TERRORISTS IN SYRIA, A LARGE VESSEL PACKED WITH 70,000 TONS OF LETHAL WEAPONS HAS ARRIVED IN AQABA AS OF 2 DAYS AGO. THE PAKISTANI GOVERNMENT IS NO DIFFERENT THAN THE SAUDI.
NEWS AND VIDEOS:
New Yorker enjoyed these clips of rat carcasses. Isn’t that ghoulish?