SYRIAN GOVERNMENT OFFERS “ADOPT A TERRORIST RAT”

“WE NEED A HOME. WILL YOU TAKE US IN?

 

THE SYRIAN GOVERNMENT HAS IMPLEMENTED A NEW POLICY DESIGNED TO ADDRESS THE HUMANITARIAN CONCERNS OF MANY: WHAT TO DO ABOUT FOREIGN TERRORISTS CAPTURED BY THE SYRIAN ARMY?

With the Amnesty Program moving apace in the country giving young men a second chance at a normal life,  thousands have availed themselves of the opportunity to transmogrify from rodents into human beings.  But what about captured terrorists from foreign countries?  Don’t they count for anything? ……….Sure they do.

The Syrian Ministry of Foreign Affairs announces a new program designed to repatriate captured terrorists from the following countries: United Kingdom, Australia, United States, France and Germany, and to offer them for adoption by loving, civilized families. We’re sorry, but, terrorists from countries like Saudi Arabia and Chechnya will have to euthanized and cremated.

Clove Barnacle of Coventry, U.K., plays with her recently-acquired terrorist pet, ‘Abu Falaafel”, in her newly refurbished flat.  “My God, I never knew how nice a local terrorist could be. Why, I wouldn’t know what to do without him. And, he speaks English!”, she purrs.   

Our catalog includes thousands of British, French, American, Australian and German nationals.  They all need a loving home in their country of origin.  Aren’t you willing to provide that to them?

Now and only now, the Syrian Government is prepared to send these terrorists back to their homelands at only a minimum cost to the adopting family.  The Syrian Government guarantees that all terrorists sent to the listed countries will have received rabies shots, Interferon and penicillin injections.  Our foreign terrorists are only rarely without complete body parts – amputations sometimes necessary to save the poor critter’s life.

SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED!!  If you order today, the Syrian Government will send the adopting family an EXTRA TERRORIST!  WHAT AN OFFER!  That’s right.  TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!! Another terrorist just like the ones in the picture shown at the start of this advertisement.

Don’t be shy.  It’s time you took these terrorists back.  And what better way than by adoption.  Have them in your home.  Listen to these testimonials from adoptive citizens:

“Jeez’o’Pete!  I never knew how great it would be to have my own cannibal in the house. Instead of having to feed him, he finds vermin on my property and eats them. I really like what he does to rats!”  Kazimir Cownofski, Hemp Highlands, New Jersey

Kazimir horsing around with his pet terrorist, Abu-Hummus.

“The wife and me, well, we’re getting up there in years.  Thanks to the Adopt a Terrorist Program, we don’t have to make tea any more. I didn’t know Pakistanis drank tea. So now, Fern and I can relax and let him brew it.”  Smedley Darff-Tetley, Stankblaster-on-Stye, Kent, U.K.

Abu-Arse, says “Hullo” to Smedley every morning before tea. 

THE SYRIAN GOVERNMENT GUARANTEES THE ARRIVAL OF EVERY TERRORIST TO HIS HOME COUNTRY IN HIS OWN PRIVATE CAGE PROVIDED BY THE GOVERNMENT.  Once on his home turf, he is the responsibility of the adoptive family unit or the governmental agency responsible for monitoring his “condition”.

DISCLAIMER:  The Syrian Government, its embassies and representatives, explicitly deny any warranties as to the fitness of any terrorist sent to the above-mentioned countries with regard to domestication or adaptiveness.  In fact, the Syrian Government specifically excludes any consideration for damages in the event the 1. terrorist kills or injures a family member 2. blows himself up in a train station or 3. eats the adoptive family members. Adoptive families have been warned not to permit any adopted terrorist to drive a car or truck.  KEEP TERRORIST PET AWAY FROM FERTILIZER.

This is an advertisement paid for by the NATO ADOPT A RAT IN COUNTRY ORGANIZATION or NARCO.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Rasheem
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Ziad how many are you adopting?They would be great in the winter to pull your sled thru the snow.

Anonymous
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Umm, they are fighting an Islamic insurgency, so why not use the very clear rules of Islamic warfare as their punishment. 1. If you surrender before fighting has commenced, and you can use this on a battle by battle basis, you are secure 2. If you are captured after fighting has commenced, you are executed. 3. When shooting at the terrorists once battle commences, it is shoot to kill, not wound, warn or scare off 4. For those who surrender, they will be levied jiziya on their heads, a humiliating tax designed to demonstrate submission (paying tribute) 5. If they… Read more »

Quenellette
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Do they come with an on/off button?
Listening to Abu Arse´s “Allahau Akbar” must be extremely annoying…

Anonymous
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Well, you just lost one sympathizer, not of the Syrian struggle against the wahhabi takfiris, but of your website. The photos you show are from Irak, if I am not mistaken. Many of those who have been tortured and martyred in the occupation prisons at the hands of the American scum were innocents. Suppose that Americans had their way in intervening militarily in Syria and committed this sort of crimes with Syrian innocent citizens, how would you react. An acute case of utter “mauvais gout” of of “Jameson” intoxication.

Captain_Mustafa
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Cute puppies up for adaption…ding…ding….ding….

Free world loves Syria
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I’m really sorry for the crimes that terrorists from Europe made ​​in Syria, but please ,please ,please Kill them all! In Europe, vast majority of ordinary people supported Syria and Syrian people in the fight against terrorism and ordinary people was opposed to any foreign interference in Syrian problems (this best seen when whole Europe said “fuck off USA, we do not want to bomb Syria” and it is not far to terrorists return to Europe because their targets are ordinary people rather than politicians, bankers and other scum. Kill them all and let them die slowly and in pain.… Read more »

the Thylacine
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Great writing. Bad photos.
These atrocities at Abu Ghraib show one thing: the criminal depravity of Amerika.
But a writer’s funny stuff should not be neutralised by such images. It ruins the joke.
Remember, the cruelties inflicted at Abu Ghraib traumatised the Sunni community and made it easier for the Saudi apes to instigate their subversions, which contributed to the recruitment against Syria.
Personally, I recommend work gangs. Make these scum rebuild what they destroyed, humping rocks in chains. Castrate them: we don’t want ’em to breed, ever.

regards.

biersauer
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Will be a new player in the Fastnacht Procession in Germany,
as an Syrian terrorist alike the pictures above.

LightSaber
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Not funny. That’s crass. I agree with Anonymous and Raymond 100% – this post clearly shows what’s really wrong with the humanity. The ruling global cabal does not have to seek deep to tap into dark side of human nature – even people supposedly good-natured on the surface like Ziad, when you stress them a little bit show their chauvinism, hatred, disrespect for others, self-conceit. Ziad does not care about people other than his ilk. This just confirms what I have suspected all along – if people in Syria were more concerned with the fate of other fellow Syrians (see… Read more »

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Abdul Waheed Majeed’s family say they believed he was on humanitarian mission before reports of suicide attack

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/feb/14/pictures-emerge-british-suicide-bomber-syrian-children?CMP=twt_gu

Raad
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Run run . Very funny how rats react ,not ready yet for the martyrdom

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=a35_1392458550

Run Forest Run!
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Syria: NDF targeting and killing rebel infantry with ATGMs

Part of channel(s): Syria (current event)

NDF video showing NDF ATGM & heavy caliber fire on islamist rebels in Az-Zarah in Syria.
First time I am seeing NDF use ATGMs against rebels and as we can see they are doing it very good.
Read more about Syrian National Defence Forces here
Location: Az – Zara

Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=af6_1392474753#PkZ6Dzp2FEIyKFpF.99

things are cool in istanbul/ankara
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Turkish MPs brawl in parliament as Erdoğan wins judiciary vote

Opposition MP taken to hospital after vote to give justice ministry greater control over judges amid corruption scandal
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Staff and agencies

theguardian.com, Saturday 15 February 2014 22.49 AEST

Anonymous
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The war in syria can end overnight.. if Americans just mobilze and help Syria to be completely Destroyed with hundreds thousands civilians killed by Obama administration and Zionist Republicans. IF American veterans from the IRAQ war decided to Defect from their country (snowden like) and decided to go to Syria and offer their help with the security of civilians ,and Americans show up with their army uniforms and Flag on the media in Syria helping in their security against Alqaeda.. a massive wave of World Wide reports will raise awareness of all Americans and Demand him to attacking Syria ,to… Read more »

Anonymous
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Video shows Obama Alqaeda/” moderates” jihadist near aleppo prison is a discourse requesting a union of all terrorist forces and suicide bombers to help them take aleppo prison..

http://youtu.be/REf5L_Y1IK8

Jash al hurr
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The Syrian army is getting their ass raped lol