SYRIAN PERSPECTIVE AWARDS THE “LORD OF MAYHEM” PRIZE TO FORMER AMBASSADOR TO SYRIA, ROBERT FORD; HIS NEW APPOINTMENT AS AMBASSADOR TO CAIRO WILL CERTAINLY MEMORIALIZE HIS SOJOURN ON THIS PLANET AS ONE EQUAL TO GENGHIZ KHAN’S, ASSUR-NASIR-PAL’S, JUAN CORONA’S, AND TAMERLANE’S
WHEN IT’S NOT ENOUGH TO BE AN ACCOMPLISHED AND COMPLETE WAR CRIMINAL; WHEN IT’S JUST NOT SATISFYING TO BE CALLED A MERE MASS MURDERER; AN INFANTICIDE; GENOCIDAL FREAK; RACIST EXTERMINATOR OR PLAGUE CARRYING RODENT: THEN, AND ONLY THEN, WILL YOU BE DESERVING OF THE TITLE:
LORD OF MAYHEM.
Beaming with pride after learning his favorite Al-Qaeda franchise, the “Brigades of Hulagu”, devastated an entire Christian village; eating the entrails of infants and burning alive all those who preach love and tolerance, Ford prepares for his next mission: to bring Holocaust to the Copts of Egypt and every secular intellectual among the Sunni middle class.
It appears that “in-the-know” gyppos are already seething with anger over the potential appointment of this diplomatic Mr. Bean. Diplomatic? Is that what we mean? Well, let’s just say he works both sides of the track: in the daytime, he’s just an ordinary, unassuming American diplo-hack with a few years left to collect his pension. But, at night, when the full moon is in full juvescence, he transmogrifies into HAMMER FILM’S MONUMENTAL GHOUL: AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN THE LEVANT!!
Arms shipments? “No problem”. Drugs? “Hey, it’s a deal”. Porno-Jihad? “Whaaa? Get a look at Ms. Khadija Schlumpkin from the Bronx”. “Whatever you need, I’ll get it.” And that’s his calling card – as long as your goal is to bring rapine, horror and limitless devastation to any quarter assigned to him by Beelzebub.
Only a president whose mind is muddled and addled by a sense of shame over being half-white; whose only experience with foreign affairs is his own birth somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean; whose inner fears are those of East Africans because they don’t share the slave experience, could possibly appoint the U.N.’s most despised hag/miscegenist/goofball/succubus as his personal national security advisor. But, even worse, appointing a miscreant for another stint in an Arab-Islamic country after an ignominious departure from one where he managed to reveal the identities of every anti-government activist, ignited sectarian hatred and entrenched the nation under the thrall of Russia and Iran in a permanent and durable manner – well – you have got to be quite a mutton head to get there! And so,……Mr. Obama.
And now, Mr. Ford’s nomination will go up for approval before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. There, he will rant and rave about “democracy” and the insatiable Arab lust for it. He will have John McCain, America’s iconic Alzheimer’s poster boy, rabidly frothing at the mouth with fury over “Obama’s inaction” while the “heroic, organ-eating, decapitating, democracy-loving, pillaging, sociopathic” Salafist allies of the United States are “left out to dry” by Assad’s secular and progressive, but Russo-Iranian-oriented, “regime” and his military “killing machine”. Ford and McCain will embrace in Shakespeare’s beast with two backs whilst reaching a climactic crescendo of primordial moans and groans, and all in the name of Ford’s favorite pastime, his metier, his life’s calling: MAYHEM!
We are hoping our Egyptian readers are following this insidious process that lies at the heart of Obama’s presidency. We hope they are aware that by allowing Ford into their midst, they are repeating the mistakes of Pharoah. A plague more virulent than the Black Plague or the bubonic plague is coming. It’s called, Robert Ford and no good will come of it. General Al-Sisi must be made aware that the U.S. is up to no good whenever it unleashes the vilest of vials in the blackest recesses of the Institute for Disease Control in Atlanta. This is not Ebola! This one is Robert Ford! THE LORD OF MAYHEM!
Mr. Ford’s prize, if he chooses to collect it, is Syrian Perspective’s ceremonial tweed jacket sewn for him by a Sunni mother of 3 boys who lost her sons to Ford’s most beloved terrorists in the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant. Each square inch contains the names of history’s most rapacious war criminals. On the inside, a silk brocaded lining displays the picture of none other than:
Al-Huwayqa: The SAA and security forces hunted down a well-known J.N. leader and killer. They killed him:
Muneer Ilyaas Hajar (Rat leader)
Fighting but no details.
It is becoming obvious from reports in the Syrian and Arab nationalist media that Dayr El-Zor has been a military disaster for the “opposition”, perhaps more so than Latakia. In report after report, terrorist efforts to cajole the residents of this province have failed. More than any other province, Dayr El-Zor has had more cooperation from the residents than any other with political committees being formed to combat the presence of Salafist/Takfiri maniacs pretending to be Islamist liberators. Our hats off to the people of Dayr El-Zor for being the most loyal and committed of all Syrians to the cause of secularism and progress in the Syrian Arab Republic.