I just came back from up north and the reports on my desk are optimistic – nay – jubilant as the Syrian army makes cornmeal mush out of the noisome sewer rats awaiting the West as soon as they are pushed completely out of Syria.
DER’AH: HUGE CONFRONTATION AT SAYDA AL-JAWLAAN NETS THE BIG FIGURES. INCREDIBLY INEPT NIHILIST MERCENARY COMMANDERS TRAINED BY AMERICAN TERRORIST ENABLERS IN JORDAN MEET THEIR RODENT GOD AND DISAPPEAR INTO THE VOLCANIC SOIL LIKE MIST IN A HELL-HOT WIND:
Muhammad ‘Abdullah Al-Mizyaab
Ahmad Mahmoud Al-Jibaawi
Muhammmad ‘Abdullah Al-Khattaab
Zayn Sa’eed Al-Radeef
Jaassem Ahmad Al-Nabulusi
Mas’ood ‘Ali Ghannaam
Muhammad Ahmad Al-Jazzaar
Another 16 could not be identified. All believed to be foreigners.
Tafass: The rats took it again, big time with 49 killed. These were the only identifiable carcasses:
Majeed ‘Abdul-Baasset Al-Kahhaal
Ma’an ‘Ahmad Al-‘Urayfi
Saalem ‘Abdullah Al-Muhammad
Ahmad ‘Abdul-Qaader Al-Ahmad
Khaleel Jaaber Al-Asmar
Zaahi ‘Ali Al-Mashaarifa
Muhammad Saaleh Al-‘Abbaar
Qays Sa’adoon Al-Hallaaq
I have been promised more names as they are confirmed. Monzer writes that there are 6 confirmed Saudis in the group. We are delighted to to pre-condole the stinking rat families on the departure of their rodent offspring.
Tibna Bridge: SAA engineers put the kibosh on 4 IEDs each with a payload of 50kgs. Some fighting but no details.
LATAKIA: ON FIRE! SAA reinforcements out of pacified Homs are now surrounding the entire northern region of the province and we will be able to confirm for all readers the names of 9 towns completely rendered rodent-free by SAA, NDF and militia. I am busy with stupid birthday parties for my aunts and have to go. I will be free tomorrow all day to collect the intel and convey it to you. ZAF
This tank is on its way to Jabal Al-Sha’baan in northern Latakia Province. We pray it kills hundreds of filthy, nihilist Takfeeris.
Syrian troops carry the flag into newly liberated towns in norther Latakia.