CONFIRMED! 9 (NINE) MOROCCAN RODENTS GET ON THE CAROUSEL RIDE TO THE HOT GATES AT AL-HANBOOSHIYYA!!!!
This just in from Wael in Al-Haffa where he has been for 9 days now doing some work related to civilian traffic.
Al-Hanbooshiyya in the north: SAA and militia found a nest of completely confused Moroccan rodent scavengers and put them to death in the noble tradition of our knightly warriors. They were given the chance to surrender or die. For reasons having to do with their “Allahu Akbar” ideology of nihilism, they opened fire on forces clearly superior to theirs. All 9 Moroccans were killed. Wael heard that 3 of them committed suicide by blowing themselves up. Either that, or a grenade mis-fired and sent them all to a Stygian fate. It is unusual to have a totally foreign pack without some local acting as guide. These scavengers had no idea where they were and might have been part of the laughable “new offensive” launched by notorious idiot and Mengele look-alike, Saleem Idrees. (Yawn)
Bayt Iblaq: The SAA easily scored 5 hat tricks in this lazy town near the border with Turkey by killing the following fetid field mice:
Abu Hudhayfa Al-Tunisis (TUNISIAN MUSK HEMORRHOID)
Abu Ayyoob Al-Tunisi (TUNISIAN BARBARY APE PUS FLY)
“Abu Mu’aawia” (Id pending)
Izzeddeen Abu Kaff (He took a hard slap and woke up in Cerberus’ dog house)
‘Abdu Al-Leebi (LIBYAN DWARF MARMOSET)
Ahmad Khaaled ‘Amr
Ihsaan ‘Ali Darangheel
Ra’ad Sayf Al-Barqaawi
Another 4 were taken prisoner.
Nubeen: A working 23mm machine gun cannon was seized for use by our army. These rodents weren’t so lucky:
“Abu Anas” (KUWAITI SNIPER AND PROFESSIONAL BOY BUGGERER)
Mu’tazz ‘Abdul-Rahmaan Al-Hajal (Just like a quayle shoot)
Prophet Isaiah Mountain: Another machine gun is either destroyed or seized. But this Jordanian merd got flushed down the bidet:
‘Ali Sha’abaan (JORDANIAN USED TOILET PAPER)
Saaber Muneer Al-Wari’
DAYR EL-ZOR: A KALEIDOSCOPE OF MORBIDITY FOR RATS. CAROUSEL RIDE FOR SYRIAN ARMY
Al-Huwayqa: SAA and the Orkin Man sent these microbes to the formaldehyde jar:
Muneer Ilyaas Al-Hajar (a J.N. leader. Yawn. He’s now leading a chorus in the 7th Circle)
Al-Sinaa’ah: A failed infiltration attempt caught the infiltrators by surprise:
Abu Usaamaa (TUNISIAN BARBARY APE AFTERBIRTH)
Kamaal Al-Sayyaah (He’s now yelling a different melody in his eternal Presto cooker)
Ahmad Khaz’al (Suspected Iraq carrying forged documents)
Ismaa’eel ‘Aatallah Hadeed
Al-Hissaan: West of Dayr El-Zor, SAA killed this crawling gnat:
Hussayn Faraj Al-Basees
16 JABHAT AL-NUSRA FLEAS GO UP IN FLAMES WHILE TRYING TO RIG AN IED NEAR THE PALACE OF JUSTICE. They were the “Brigades of ‘Abbaas” (Oh, yawn!). Names are not available yet. What a mess.
Al-Sinaa’ah: In the city. Another attempted infiltration into Al-Rusaafa gone sour:
“Abi Dajaana” (id pending)
“Qannaas Al-Sinaa’ah” (id pending. Known as “The Sniper of Al-Sinaa’ah. Yawn.)
Dayr El-Zor City: Security destroyed a C&C center operated by J.N. No details.
Al-Shaykh Yaaseen: 3 rodents went straight from the plate to the garbage disposal:
Saaleh ‘Ali Al-Hajjaan
‘Ikrima Sa’adaawi Abu-Furayjaat (What a name! This guy will take a while in Hell for processing)
Al-Jubayla: No details about fighting.
Al-‘Urfi: I know 4 dead rats were counted in a battle conducted by militia. No names.
The City at 5:45 p.m. Street. That’s the name! شارع ستة إلا ربع A machine gun in mint condition was
confiscated. THANK YOU, SULTAN ERDOGHAN.
Huwayjat Kaati’ and Huwayjat Sakr: No details. SANA
Al-Shaheel: 2 rats were killed, 3 taken prisoner wounded and some seen escaping into the dusky twilight:
Maytham Al-Sa’adi (Iraqi name but Syrian papers)
Hassan ‘Alaa’ Al-Daaghistaani
‘Awni Zayneddeen Turk
Dayr El-Zor and Tadmur (Palmyra) Highway at the Al-Huraybisha Junction. Huge battle with SAA seizing a large arsenal of weapons. Many rats killed, but no details.
ENJOY THESE PHOTOS OF RODENTS IN DAYR EL ZOR AT THE MOMENT OF TRANSFORMATION (COURTESY SANA):
I HAVE A HUGE AMOUNT OF RAT-STATS FOR TOMORROW. SOME WERE ON MY DESK SINCE YESTERDAY AND SOME ARE JUST COMING IN. DAMASCUS IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY HOPELESS FOR THESE SCAVENGERS. I WILL BLOG TOMORROW WHEN I COME BACK FROM ANN ARBOR. PROMISE. ZIAD