1. Prince Tamim of Qatar, just invested as leader, is known for what peculiarity:
a. He has a prehensile tail like his father;
b. He prefers Eastern European adolescent boys to Polynesian Polecats;
c. He has teeth similar to that of a raccoon and can infect you with rabies;
d. He is the only bipedal ape to introduce rabies to Antartica;
e. He has the stupid smile of a moron who inherited billions from his nitwit father.
2. Prince Porky of Catarrh abdicated in favor of his son because:
a. He believes that it’s time to give young people a chance to rule; (Yeah right!)
b. Madame Banana, his wife, and mother of Tamim, grew weary of wealth and wanted to live in NYC;
c. The U.S. told him he’d better or he might have to become King of the Palestinians;
d. He has a contract with Abdullah of Jordan to open a Falafel Shop in London, U.K.;
e. He has terminal kidney cancer.
3. Which one of the following actors has never played a robed Arab of the desert?
a. Sean Connery;
b. Alec Guinness;
c. Anthony Quinn;
d. Omar Sharif;
e. Sesu Hayakawa.
4. Evet Lvovovich Liberman (a/k/a Avigdor Lieberman) nutso former Zionist F.M. and warmonger, used to work as a what in his native Moldavia?
b. Human organ grinder;
c. Mah Jongg impresario;
d. Sex change specialist;
e. Barroom bouncer.
5. Who said “Corruption and decay are the fate of all Arabian apes?”
b. Sextus Propertius;
d. Dr. Samuel Johnson;
e. Ziad the Splendid.
6. Why can’t rodents live in the desert?
a. Nobody lays out sewers in a dry desert, fool!
b. Rats cannot live off cactus. It’s too thorny for their delicate teeth.
c. It’s poor terrain for sneaking around which is what rats like to do;
d. Their fur is too thick and lustrous for the high temperatures;
e. They do, moron. They’re called Saudis.
7. When Egyptians go out to “smell the breeze”, شم النسيم , what are they doing?
a. They are testing their lungs in Cairo for respiratory diseases;
b. They are smelling fetid, noisome, putrefying odors eructing from out of the overused sewers;
c. The are quitting their jobs to go to Qatar to squeeze the Arabian idiots;
e. Taking a walk around the town on a nice day and eating colored eggs.
8. Abdul-Halim Khaddam, Syria’s former fire-eating foreign minister, resident clown and Hariri catamite lives where?
a. In Saad Hariri’s bathroom in Montmarte;
b. In a secret cellar in his home outside Tartous which was confiscated by the Syrian government;
c. In Walid Jublatt’s Damascus home also confiscated by the Syrian government;
d. In Manaf Tlas’s cigar bar in Damascus which was also confiscated by the Syrian government;
e. In a home in Paris bought with money he stole from the Syrian people.
9. The bouffant hairdo never got off the ground in the Middle East because:
a. Arabs thought it looked “faggy”;
b. Women had to use too much of their hijabs to cover it;
c. Intelligence services were finding spyware hidden inside them and they were outlawed;
d. They needed so much hairspray that women were actually going blind;
e. They just look stupid.
10. Hermann Hesse, Alger Hiss, Rudolph Hess and Colonel Martin Hessler have what in common?
a. They were all born into the Hess Family of Lower Tondertentronkh;
b. All were devoted German Buddhists;
c. They are wild German Bohemian alcoholics and ideolgical minions of Frau Merkel;
d. They composed “Die Wacht am Rhein” for Josef Goebbels’ masterpiece: “Die Jud Suss”;
e. Nothing. Hesse was Swiss. Hiss was an American traitor. Hess was a kooky Nazi; and Hessler was a
fictional Wehrmach commander in the movie “Battle of the Bulge” played by Robert Shaw.
No notebooks or research engines allowed. We will know if you cheat. Punishment is as the French say:
“Peine, forte et dure”.