BBC:  How would you describe the meetings you have had in Paris, Madrid, Istanbul, Amman, Doha, Cairo?

SHITTO:  Very educational.  But, Madrid is my favorite.  They don’t have bullfights in Amman, you know.

BBC:  What I mean is: What will it take to get a consensus among the representatives of the many Syrian organizations?

SHITTO:  Well.  When Assad steps aside, we will have a consensus.

MNS:  But, what if he doesn’t?  Right now, he is winning.  Why would he step aside?

SHITTO:  You’re German aren’t you?……….(pauses)  If he doesn’t step aside then I guess it will be civil war.

BBC:  But, you already have a civil war!

SHITTO:  My tooth is hurting again…….Then, we’ll have another civil war.  And another. And another until Assad takes my place and, then, we’ll have the Mother of All Civil Wars.  I’ll be in Texas, of course.  I’m too old to fight.  (Becomes visibly angry and looks at Lies La Doucette).  I’m just a draft dodger, right?

MNS:  If you cannot get a consensus about attending the next Geneva-2 Conference, what will you all do?

SHITTO:  Well, Ahmad is planning a career in Islamist radio talk shows.  I think, George, that Christian fella, is going to be a singer.  I have a Kirby Vacuum Cleaner franchise in Austin. You got any better ideas?

 “And a one, and a two, and a three”, mutters the versatile Islamist radio talk show freak, Ahmad Muaz Al-Khatib Al-Hasani, on his Canadian radio variety show: “God Speaks in Many Flavors – All Halal”.  You can listen to him on CKIA radio every day and discuss why Muslims shouldn’t eat peanut butter.  To his fans he is known as “Moe-Joe Walk-Man”.


 
George Sabra, seen here at his poorly-attended concert in Gaziantep, Turkey, titled: “Captain Kangaroo Serenades Mr. Greenjeans”.  His signature song: “I Left My Ticker in Abu Sakkar’s Knicker”, was not received very well by the surly crowd.  His show-stopper song: “Wallah, Wallah”, died on the spot.     
    

BBC:  Well.  Maybe if you attended the Geneva 2 Conference, something might change.

SHITTO:  But, Prince Porky of Qatar won’t pay for the trip.  He doesn’t want anybody to go anywhere but Doha.   I can’t afford all these trips.

BBC:  Won’t the American’s pay for it?  They are even richer than Prince Porky.

SHITTO:  I don’t think Obama will pay for anything but my ticket back to Texas.  He is very upset you know about all those so-called royals.  He is even acting like them.  So stingy, you know.

His Royal Highness, Barack Hussein Obama, seen signing a check for a one-way ticket back to Texas for everybody’s favorite misfit, Ghassan Shitto.  (courtesy: theflyingcameldotorg.wordpress.com)

  

BBC:  Would you be willing to sit down at the same table with President Assad’s representative and discuss peace?

SHITTO:  You must be kidding.  I’d be arrested for draft evasion!  I can’t unless Assad comes to Crawford, Texas.  We could have a barbecue and discuss everything.      

MNS:  We are certain Mr. Assad will read your comments.  Perhaps, Lakhdar Brahimi,  the U.N. and A.L. negotiator,  can arrange the trip.

SHITTO:  I can’t promise Prince Fatso will pay for Assad’s ticket.  But, do you think it’s possible he’d come?  

MNS:  It’s about as possible as your becoming Syria’s Prime Minister.

BBC:  Thank you, so much, Mr. Shitto for an enlightening conversation.

SHITTO:  And by the way.  Next time, wear something on your heads.  I feel uncomfortable around female infidels.

(At that moment, Brunhilde pulled out her favorite cap and wore it to please Mr. Shitto of the NACOSROF.  She belted out an aria for him straight out of Wagner.)

 (End)