DER’AH: WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO “OPERATION HAWRAN VOLCANO?”
Khirbat Ghazaala: Thanks to Prince Pedophile of Qatar, the SAA turned over a brand new 23mm anti-aircraft machine gun cannon to militia in addition to a field artillery piece called a 90-B. The dead
carcasses were all Jabhat Al-Nusra which has lost an estimated 14,000 killers since the start of the conflict.\
Of the 41 rodents dispatched to Satan’s Salon, these were the ones identified by MI:
Muhammad Al-Turkmaani (called “Abu ‘Ibaada” and a leader of the “Tawheed Brigades”. Yawn)
Daawood ‘Ali Shammoot
The rest were foreigners. No more details.
Al-Qinya Village: An agricultural pick-up truck filled with ammunition exploded killing both rats inside it:
Daa’el: The SAA clobbered the FSA at this town by first surrounding and then strangling a unit of roaches as they tried to move west toward the Golan. These Jabhat Al-Nusra freaks were exterminated to the tune of 17 carcasses. SAA also seized many weapons and turned them over to NDF.
WE MUST THANK SAUDI ARABIA AND QATAR FOR THESE BEAUTIFUL NEW WEAPONS CONFISCATED YESTERDAY AND DELIVERED TO THE NATIONAL DEFENSE FORCES
At Hutaytat Al-Turkmaani in the East Ghouta, SAA confiscated 6 RPGs, 16 American-made machine guns, 2 vans loaded with ammunition and drugs and killed 3 rats with 3 wounded and taken prisoner:
Shaadi Mustafa Munajjed
Anas Daawoon Firdaws
Abdul-Mun’im Hassan Iswaara
It’s Spring Cleaning Time for the SAA. A platoon of infantrymen scour the area of Al-‘Ibaada for smelly little rodents.
Daarayyaa: At the Al-Shiyyaah Quarter and Al-Sukayna Shrine near the National Hospital, these remnant escapees were given coupons for the Inferno Express:
“Abu Jamaal” (id pending. Of the “Martyrs of Daarayyaa Brigade”. Yawn. There’s lots of them.)
Muhammad Abdul-Hameed Habbool (And boy, aint’ he?)
Moossa Abdul-Waahed (sniper)
Also at Daarayyaa, SAA found a 500 meter-long tunnel loaded with weapons from Prince Fatso. The tunnel was used to transport rats and their weapons between Sahnaayaa and Judaydat ‘Artooz.
Jawbar: At the Athletic Club, Prince Fatso’s armory was looted by our SAA and all spoils turned over to militia. 2 rodents defended the armory and were rewarded with a swift kick in the pants straight down to Old Scratch:
Al-‘Ibaada: Classic surround-and-snuff tactics pays off for SAA and our militias. 24 killed:
“Abu-Kinaan” (id. pending)
The rest could not be identified.
Douma: a dispute between 2 rival terrorist rat gangs turned lethal as they fought over loot stolen from innocent Syrian civilians. SANA reports that the 2 groups were called “Mu’aawiya Ibn Abi Sufyaan Brigades” (yawn) and the “Shield of Douma Brigade” (double yawn). Mu’aawiya is the first Omayyad Caliph and usurper of the title. As the SAA arrived with militia back-up, they found 10 carcasses and 20 screaming rodents wounded. Militia personnel wanted to let them die but the SAA followed procedure and took them prisoner for treatment and trial. Of the dead was:
Barzeh: 8 rodents were roasted after a Sukhoi-25 scored a direct hit on their position and sent them to the Ron Popeil Roaster Oven in Mephisto’s kitchen. No details.
Harasta: The usual clean-up netted 3 foreign carcasses. They were cremated with their own phosphorus grenades.
YARMOUK CAMP: PALESTINIANS ECSTATIC AFTER SAA AND MILITIA CLEAN UP THE AREA!!
A slimy little weasel can only listen as our army cleans up the Yarmouk Camp ahead of the much-expected Spring Offensive titled “Operation People’s Rage”!!
IDLIB: MY, WHAT A MESS FOR THE FSA!! They just can’t get anything done anymore.
Abu-Dhuhoor Airbase: Cockroaches from the FSA tried to breach the southern wall of the airbase. Wael says that the estimated number of enemy mercenary insects was about 400. SAA called in helicopter support and decimated them. It is hard to count or identify bodies in these areas close to the Turkish border. However, Wael confirms that the SAA seized many weapons. No details.
Al-Jaanoodiyya: Rural Idlib. SAA infantry swooped down on a safe house that had been cleaned out weeks before and killed the following rodents:
Hajj Hammood Farms: 3 rodents confirmed dead. They were found with drugs on them. No details.
Ma’arratmassreen: FSA has lost over 1000 rats in this town. Another 2 went down yesterday. No details.
Qunaynaas: 4 skunks skidded down the Teflon chute to Hell.
Bikfaloon Wall: Confirmed 11 dead rats. 4 surrendered.
Binnish: SAA uncovers underground cache of weapons including 3 23mm AA machine gun cannons, shotguns, scopes, communication equipment and drugs. 1 rat killed:
Hammaam Baadoori (?)
Kafr Jaales: 8 killed in firefight with SAA.
Tal Salmo: 2 confirmed dead. No details.
Al-Tar’ah: 15 dead rats. All FSA. No details.
HOMS: Not much news out of Homs because there are far fewer rats.
Al-Rastan: These nasty hyenas went to Satan’s favorite zoo:
Another 3 could not be identified.
Al-Daar Al-Kabeera: More weapons from the Porcine Prince. 2 killed. No id.
Jawsiyya Projects: 11 killed. All came in originally from Lebanon. Only 4 could be identified:
Al-Nizaariyya: 2 rats killed inside a warehouse concealing ammunition, machine guns and drugs. All confiscated. The 2 rats were not Syrians.
Al-‘Ain Al-Saakhina: 3 mice went for the cheese and slipped down the chute to Belial’s parlour:
Al-Qaraabees: Big thanks again to Prince Fatso. This time we got a whole crate of AK47s. No details on rat fatalities.
Al-Khaaldiyya: Oh, just one rodent and 7 taken prisoner.
Waadi Al-Saayeh: In the Old City. 6 rats took the plunge to Old Harry. No details. Big firefight with citizens helping NDF clean up River City.
In North-West Hama Governorate, Jabhat Al-Nusra paid its own way to the swamp in Hell. An entire nest of rodents was extirpated:
Khaaled Al-Hannu (aka “Abu Al-Layl”)
Wasseem Al-‘Aafiya (not very healthy now, though)
Another 7 could not be identified.
NEWS AND PROPAGANDA FOR THOUGHT AND GUFFAWING, RESPECTIVELY:
Here’s one for the comedy channel. The U.S. is thinking about arming the terrorists. Like, they have not been armed by Qatar and Saudi Arabia with the CIA facilitating the process? Go ahead, the SAA will have more arms that way to give to the NDF and militia.
If you read SyrPer, you’ll know what really happened at Al-Baydhaa:
Read this sloppy article from Daily Star and have a few laughs. See how many howlers you can find:
Here’s another for the comedy file. Now a reporter is being held by AFI. Not by terrorists. Yawn:
Good show Prince Al-Waleed. Computers for Syrian Government. Guns to rats. Saudi Arabia is always at the forefront of public opprobrium:
Another howler for you. This one has more errors and hype than any seen in a long time. SyrPer has people on the ground in the Tartous/Banyaas area and none have said anything remotely close to what that liar, Rami Abdul-Rahmaan, is saying about Al-Baydhaa.
WILE E. COYOTE MOMENT: