THIRD POST – FEBRUARY 14, 2013 – SYRPER’S THIRD NOMINEE FOR WOG OF THE YEAR GOES TO KOREAN
High on the heels of his 2012 triumph as Syrian Perspective’s WAR CRIMINAL OF THE YEAR, defeating such war crimes’ luminaries as David Cameron of the U.K. and America’s own Pistol Pete, Mr. Drone and Cream O’ Wheat, Barack Hussein Obama, he brings a certain oriental charm to the way he lights cigarettes, hands out handkerchiefs and sets tables for white people like John Kerry and the Clintons. His control over the kimche market has also infused his career with a certain odor, something like…..we don’t know…um…maybe like aged cabbage. It is with great pride that the Board of Governors of Syrian Perspective bestow upon this great WOG the third nomination for WOG OF THE YEAR FOR 2013.
BAN KI MOON
Mr. Ban seen here wearing a special hard hat to prevent North Korean rockets from falling on his head.
Like fellow 2013 nominees Navi Pillay and Nabil El-Araby, Mr. Ban brings with him that certain unmistakeable panache
that speaks of so much indebtedness to the West. Ms. Pillay is the first South African of South Asian descent to graduate from the Harvard Law School. Mr. El-Araby also has a clutch of law degrees from New York University which made him ideally suited to head the Arab League, arguably one of the most dreadfully vacuous organizations ever conceived by man or ape. And, now, Mr. Ban (known affectionately as “Bee Bim Poop”
to his friends) can trumpet his own claim to Woggishness with his Masters of Arts degree in Public Administration from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University. Wow, all these anti-Assad people have degrees from American colleges? That’s right, folks! They’re all trained, just like your pet poodle, to scratch at the door when they need to go; jump up and down for that little morsel you dangle over their salivating, lapping tongues; to roll over and lick their own genitals at the slightest hiccup. It’s not easy being a Worthy Oriental Gentleman, but, Mr. Ban Ki Moon has mastered the technique and has refined it as an inscrutably personal piece of Eastern Art.
The Board has taken note of Mr. Ban’s persistent woggishness by his pronouncements in the media:
“What is happening in Togo is horrible. But, you know, this Assad must resign.” New York City, August 2011
“We are sending military assistance to the Central Congo but only if Mr. Assad steps down.” Cairo, September 2012
“Mr. Assad! Step down! Assad, step down!!! For Buddha’s sake and for your karma, you must step down! Boo hoo hoo. Please, step down”!!! Binghampton, New York, at the opening ceremony for the Bill Clinton Lingerie and Cigar Museum, December 2012
Mr. WOG, seen here seated amidst titans of sleaze like former U.K. Prime Minister Tony Blair whose name grace’s our LIAR OF THE YEAR AWARD and, of course, the luscious boule de suif and patron saint of all women who married satyrs, Hillary Rodham Clinton. Salacious talk of a love affair between Mr. Ban and Madame Clinton were quickly put to rest after Madame Yoo Soon Take, Mr. Ban’s saucy wife, threatened to tell all about a menage between the couples at the 40th Parallel DMZ line in Korea.
Mrs. Yoo Soon Take, in a fit of pique at the suggestion her husband used wooden chop sticks during a family get-together in Seoul. “Ah, Nah, he no use dat ‘cept fow Awabs. I wyke yoh, yoh wich man. Want massaga, massaga?”, she said assertively. Mr. Ban met his wife at “Sue’s Massage Parlor” in the Bronx, NYC, ca 1999.
And so, we have registered Mr. Ban’s name along with all the others who have been singled out for WOG Glory as servants to the white man in his eternal quest to rape, pillage, exploit and devour every living atom in the “Oriental World”. As a token of our esteem, we have awarded Mr. Ban a tentative prize for his nomination:
AND WHAT COULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE FOR THE WOG WHO HAS EVERYTHING?
Here, he can wash Mr. Kerry’s button-down shirts and silk underwear. Good Show! Mr. Ban!!
And don’t forget: Light on the starch.