It is with great pleasure and a sense of gratitude that during these last two months when the FSA stooges in Lebanon have descended from their cliffs like a herd of lemmings thanks to French mismanagement, incompetence and pure clumsiness that we now bow our heads to the one man who has made the mass slaughter of all those rodents possible – and there is only one man! – who can receive this much coveted award.
In 2011, we awarded what was then called the “PIED PIPER OF HAMELIN PRIZE” to former U.S. ambassador to Syria, Robert Ford, acknowledging his tireless devotion to “outing” every anti-government mole, traitor, terrorist, malfeasor and do-no-gooder in many Syrian cities. His perverse enchantment with telephone calls to spies and terrorist-sympathizers made him a favorite at the General Security offices forcing then-director, Lt. Gen. Ali Mamlouk, to call him “Syria’s greatest line of defense and mastermind”. He still fumbles around making predictions now forgotten in the long-lost interstices of twisted minds: “He’s embattled!”, “He’s surrounded”, “He’s got only two months left!”. How can anyone forget the luckless, feckless, dreck-filled impresario of diplomatic dipsomania? The one and only, ROBERT FORD!!
But then, in 2012, a German shocked the world by outstripping Robert Ford’s record for dead Syrian traitors, foreign Jihadist killers and all other miscreants combined – for he was the head of the German Bundesnachrichtendienstes (BND) whose selfless devotion to eradicating swarthy, greasy and hirsute Muslim troglodytes and Barbary apes made him the most important figure in Bashar Al-Assad’s defense and security program. Only a German completely lacking in humor and wallowing in the guilt of sloth could send the now legendary Shpionboot to the shores of Turkey to “assist” Syrian and foreign terrorists to destroy a country and participate in one of the 21st century’s greatest war crimes. His incompetent management and misinterpretation of Syrian army communications netted the Syrian government close to 10,000 rats. He is none other than, GERHARD SCHINDLER!!
Doing his damndest to put on a show of triumph, Herr Schindler blurts out: “Das Regime Assad wird nicht uberleben”. (Wir gaahnen). It is very likely Mr. Schindler will be on the funny farm way before Dr. Assad leaves office.
BUT NOW! The French have their own Pied Piper of Hamelin who has single-handedly put to death over 6,000 Syrian and Lebanese peasants and petit bourgeois dunderheads with a single order: “Marchez! Attaquez! Vive Le Quebec Libre!” And so they did into the frying pan. It’s a pleasure to award the 2013 Egon Krenz Annual Prize for great service to the Syrian Security establishment to the one and only:
“Pick up the usual suspects”, Mr. De Mangoux utters to an Algerian valet. His favorite movie actor is Jerry Lewis and his favorite character, Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
He is the head of the super-duper-secret Direction Generale de la Securite Exterieure, (DGSE) the French equivalent of the CIA but filled with people like Aldrich Ames, Wilbur the Gunsel, Oscar Mayer and Gerard Depardieu. His skill in selecting his staff is unparalleled.
Monsieur de Mangoux established himself as “indispensable” to Syrian Security by personally authorizing the posting of over 18 French buffoons in northern Lebanon tasked with giving logistical and tactical advice to the rudderless Fake Syrian Army and its Tripolitan allies. What the stupid “revolutionaries” did not remember was that no nation, people or organization ever prospered under the aegis of the French – and the FSA would be no exception. His personally-selected team of professional bunglers sabotaged every effort by the hopeless mongrels of Syrian society to “liberate” Syria from a progressive and a secular government.
Serving the interests of two presidents, one a Hungarian cuckold and Magyar weasel by the name of Nicolas Sarkozy; and the other a perverted father of four bastardized children and picayune Lothario, one Francois Hollande. With such a record for serving deviant principals, it’s no wonder Mr. De Mangoux himself has been discovered offering sexual services to Prince Fatso of Qatar and Lady Banana whenever they arrive in France.
We just spoke to Lt. General Muhammad El-Kholy, formerly director of the Syrian Air Force Intelligence Bureau and noted intelligence supremo about Mr. De Mangoux. He told us that if he were to be replaced, “……his only equal would be Mr. Bean. We implore the French government to keep him.” Or so said, General El-Kholy.
Mr. De Mangoux’s prize is Dr. Bashar Al-Assad’s autographed biography titled: “WHERE WILL YOU BE WHEN I’M EIGHTY ONE?” Our congratulations to you and the French people. Good show.