THIRD POST – NOVEMBER 20, 2012 – SYRIAN PERSPECTIVE’S MUCH ANTICIPATED MIGUEL DE CERVANTES “DON QUIXOTE” MEDAL FOR TILTING AT WINDMILLS IS ANNOUNCED TODAY.
The SyrPer Board of Trustees has finally come to a determination that the Miguel De Cervantes “Don Quixote” Medal shall be awarded this year to a deserving personality. The Committee which was appointed to investigate all possible nominees was made up of Sergei Lavrov, Russian Foreign Minister, Walid Muallem, Syrian F.M., Adelaide Neville Chamberlain grandson of former British P.M.Neville Chamberlain and Kofi Annan, former U.N. Secretary General and present-day “problem-solver”.
“Nowhere in the annals of man’s quest for failure; humankind’s pursuit of folly…. the quest for non-existent spirits in the realm of the psyche – the imagination of a besotted brain, addled by decades of abuse; imbued by the Green Fairy ever so quietly in a dark alleyway just behind the local constable’s gaol; nowhere can one find such a personality unless it is filled with fancy and, withal, the fatuous ideations born of the womb of wigwagging waddlers and wags. It is therefore with much pomposity and boundless smugness, that the Board conveys upon this unique man this coveted medal.” Speech by Sir Run Run Shaw, XVIII.
Cecil Sludgeway, Board Spokesman, declared that this man, and this man only, can receive this years prize:
Lakhdar Brahimi reacts expansively to the news that he is this year’s Don Quixote Medal winner.
Whether it is Iraq, Afghanistan, Haiti or Syria, Ambassador Brahimi rides the highest crest of the loftiest wave on the Ocean of Dismal Failure.
To dream the impossible dream;
To fight the unbeatable foe;
To bear with unbearable sorrow;
To run where the brave dare not go.
This is my quest, to follow that star
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far
And hopeless it is, indeed. Fresh from a series of blunder-laden forays into the arena of Third World diplomatic anarchy, Ambassador Brahimi stabs and jabs, lunges, thrusts and parries, pirouettes and curtsies, leaps and creeps, oozes and snoozes…. all to the plaintive cadences of a lone kazoo.
His name gives it all away: “The Green Abrahamite”. Isn’t that just perfect? What does it mean? It is all locked in diplomatic secrecy. Only a few are allowed to know.
He met Dr. Assad in Damascus where he was afforded free eye examination and treatment. And all he could say to the world was: “He still talks about going back to the good old days”. In Iran, he had F.M. Salehi struggling with a paroxysm of lassitude usually reserved for tourists who hike beyond 16,000 feet above sea level. With a track record like that, “how can he fail?”, you might ask. Well, fail he must. And fail he will. And fare thee well, o’ Tilter of Windmills, from the Trustees of Syrian Perspective.