Now that Susan Rice, David Cameron and perennial nominee, Rami Abdel-Rahman of SOHR, have been certified as “in the running” for the coveted TONY BLAIR ANNUAL LIAR OF THE YEAR AWARD, we are proud to announce the fourth nominee; no slouch when it comes to outright fabrication, muddling of facts, skewing of data, or bowdlerizing factitious fiction, the Agreeable to the Disagreeables, the Ingested of the Indigestibles, the Untumesced of the Intumescent, the Inverted of the Uncontroverted, the King of Lies himself! WALID JUMBLATT!!!!!
Ooops! Caught fibbing again. Walid, seen here, remembers that he said something just the opposite yesterday. This is a chronic problem he has endured most of his adult life. It’s termed “pathological lying”.
Whether it’s calling Bashar Al-Assad a “murderer”; calling the Lebanese government “useless”; calling his own son Taimur “profligate” one day and “prodigal” another; calling the Saudi monarchy “indispensable”; calling the Qatari “royal” family “my favorite male child protecters”; calling neo-cons “my friends, today”; Walid Jumblatt leads the pack when it comes to wavering, vacillating, folly-wollying, fence-sitting, dissimulating and in every other way – LYING! And the award is for exactly that. Tony Blair, the former British P.M. whose name is eponymously attached to this fabled award says of Mr. Jumblatt: “I’ve known Walid for many years and he’s one of the very best when it comes to our thing”. Leaving aside the fact that Mr. Blair has never met Jumblatt, Jumblatt himself charitably corrected Mr. Blair’s little lie by announcing that he “has met Mr. Blair when Blair thought he was meeting me. In fact he was meeting Prince Stornblatt of Bohemia.”
Unable to tell the truth unless it’s a lie, Jumblatt has earned the affection of thousands of Lebanese Druze who have bestowed upon him the title of Musaylimat Al-Muwahiddin مسيلمة الموحدين or the “Great Liar of the Druze”. He dazzled Neo-Conservative Zionist fantasts in Washington D.C., after Rafiq Hariri’s assassination in February of 2005, with eloquent, pejorative depictions of Dr. Assad in French. He delighted his French hosts in Paris with cruelly couched invective against Dr. Assad in English; He shocked Dr. Assad by pointing his index finger at an imaginary Bashar Al-Assad and accused him of killing Rafiq Hariri while his father, Hafez Al-Assad, killed his father, Kamal Jumblatt. Oh, Woe! Four years later, when it became clear nothing was going to come of the criminal investigation into the Hariri assassination and even more clear that Dr. Assad had trumped all efforts to unseat him, Walid astounded the world by “praising Assad” to the heavens; declaring all Druze to be Syrians; promising to pay back-taxes on his family’s palace in Damascus and begging Dr. Assad for “forgiveness”. WELL THAT DIDN’T LAST LONG EITHER.
With the Syrian conflict in drive-mode, Walid announced his support for the Fake Syrian Army. He demanded President Assad’s resignation. Walid denounced Dr. Assad as a “tyrant”. He became even more abusive after Wissam Al-Hassan’s assassination which he quickly blamed on Syria.
A man with a record as detailed as this cannot go unnoticed. We at Syrper proudly declare Walid Jumblatt Fourth Nominee for the Annual Tony Blair Liar of the Year Award.
Not only is he loony, he’s about as real as the characters of Looney Tunes