THIRD POST – OCTOBER 22, 2012 – SYRIA’S ASSAD PLANS FOR POST-OBAMA U.S. AND POST-ERDOGHAN TURKEY; MORE ARTICLES YOU’LL LIKE
MERCURY NEWS SERVICE EXCLUSIVE REPORT. Franz “Buck” Pomeranz reporting from Damascus.
The United States keeps sending memos to the leading news services in the West and East explaining how it was planning for a post-Assad Syria. Turkey’s pro-regime papers picked up the messages and regurgitated them for a Turkish audience which was not evidently pleased. MNS has now learned from the usual “anonymous sources” that President Bashar Al-Assad issued an order last week to the Syrian Ministry for Foreign and Emigree Affairs to prepare for a “Post-Obama and Post Erdoghan” eventuality. Quoting sources speaking on the condition of anonymity because they are not authorized to discuss this matter publicly, spokesmen for the Syrian Presidential Palace told MNS that “Dr. Assad is convinced that Obama will either lose the election or emerge a changed man. Syria even has plans for Romney.”
Dr. Assad waves goodbye to Barack Obama and Recep Tayyip Erdoghan. “See you in St. Louie, Louie!” …..”Arrivederci Obama, Goodbye, Goodbye, Farewell” “Say hello to Zapatero, Berlusconi and Sarkozy.”
In reference to Turkey, Jamal Taltameese, Deputy Director of the Damascus Academy of Psychiatric Manipulation and Media Hypnosis, said that “we are making plans to install a secular military leader who is completely committed to Ataturk’s program. Our Defense Minister is in contact now with his counterparts in Ankara and we think Erdoghan and his cohorts will be out soon. We are going to try to avoid any demonstrations by the Southern population for reunification with Syria – at least, for the time being…..and no, Erdoghan must step down.”
We asked about a Romney victory. What is Syria doing to prepare for a Romney regime? Dr. Taltameese said with confidence that “…we have a few Mormons in our population. Don’t ask me how that happened, but, we think some might be willing to take a new post in our government to assuage any fears that Mr. Romney might have about our future plans or the future of the United States. We are willing to fly to the planet Kolob if that will smooth things over. President Assad has asked the Ba’athist Tailors’ Union to make Romney some new silk boxer shorts.”
Syrian experts are concerned, however, that “rebels” within the Republican camp might include hostile Neo-Con terrorists and traitors. We asked former Syrian spy-supremo, Gen. Fouad Absi, what he thought about the possibility of a Romney regime with Neo-Con elements. Sitting on his cenotaph he remarked: “If such a regime were to arise, we would have to arm the Democrats with non-lethal but effective weapons to fight them off. Romney will have lost legitimacy. He will have to step down. He would be killing his own people.” Hmmm.
So Syria is preparing for the downfall of autocrats Obama and Erdoghan. Only time will tell if Syria’s plans will produce results that will satisfy a minority of Americans.
MORE ARTICLES FROM THE WORLD’S PRESS:
In this article, keep reading right to the delicious bottom line:
And here’s more about a possible Jordanian-Syrian cooperation pact built out of necessity:
And Ziad’s corker for today: remember what we told you about the 50,000 peacekeepers from the Collective Security Treaty Organization led by the Russian Federation? Do you? Read this article now in that light and think of how the U.S. and its allies might vote when they find out “The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming ” Hurray!!!