You are not permitted to use any research modality like the Internet or the OED.  Use only number 7 lead pencils with yellow legal pads.  We’re watching.

1.  Who is the star of the French family sit-com: “My Four Bastards”? (Mes Batards Quatre)

a.  Gerard Depardieu?
b.  Jean Louis Trintignant?
c.  Jean Paul Belmondo?
d.  Yves Montand?
e.  Francois Hollande? 

2.  The oldest woman in the world just died at the age of 132 years in Georgia.  What was her secret?

a.  She slept vertically every night in a barrel of goat yogurt;
b.  She belonged to Vic Tanny’s Tbilisi Spa and Gym;
c.  She used a Japanese “screaming booth” to let off steam and stress;
d.  She used Morarji Desai’s recipe for “urine cocktail” in the morning;
e.  She forged her birth certificate.  She was really 87 years old.

3.  The Ariel Sharon of today can best be described as:

a.  A carrot;
b.  A radish;
c.  A pumpkin;
d.  A bowl of succotash;
e.  A dead zombie.

4.  Duck a l’orange Istanbul style is called what?

a.  Goose flambe?
b.  Canard Brulee?
c.  Gander Tajine?
d.  Minute Maid Goose?
e.  Turkish Daffy?

5.  There is one Hollywood movie made about an all-male-homosexual submarine.  What’s its title?

a.  “Ship of Fools“;
b.  “Boats of a Feather”;
c.  “Le Chartreuse Bateau”;
d.  “20,000 Freaks Under the Sea”;
e.  “Rough Trade Winds”.

6.  Ornithology is the study of birds.  What is hornithology?

a.  Study of horns;
b.  Study of horned birds;
c.  There’s no such thing. You made it up to vex us.
d.  Study of grilled Mexican meats;
e.  Study of blaring sounds at bird sanctuaries.

7.  The name Baghdad for the city is a Persian word meaning what?

a.  Dieudonne;
b.  Diodato;
c.  Hibatallah;
d.  Khodadadeh;
e.  All the above.

8.  Saudi women cannot drive cars in their country because……?

a.  They are notorious trollops who cannot be trusted to travel freely;
b.  All Saudi females are born without a right foot;
c.  There would be too much traffic congestion;
d.  They have to pass a camel-riding class first which is very unpleasant;
e.  Saudi men are a race of reactionary apes.

9.  What is Germany’s answer to the pompous French “Pate de Foie Perigord”?

a.   “Es schmeckt sehr gut.”
b.   Blutwurst.
c.   Win Schuler’s Bar Cheese;
d.   Schwadenschnitzelwurst;
e.   Braunschweiger.

10.  Cagliostro and Ponzi are what?

a.  Two attorneys practicing in Atlantic City;
b.  Authors of a major medical study on the subject of heartburn occasioned by eating Italian sausage;
c.  Detroit pizza company;
d.  Two notorious Italian swindlers and charlatans;
e.  All the above.

To the winner, the trip of a lifetime.  You’ll never stop telling this story to your friends and loved ones.  SyrPer has contracted with Qatar Airways (“WHERE THE BOYS ARE”) to fly you alone from Detroit’s Metropolitan Airport to Tierra Del Fuego, at the tail end of South America,  for the entire weekend!  You’ll fly there while watching great Egyptian movies.  Once you land, you can take pictures of the airport.  Then, you’ll be flown right back to Detroit with the same great selection of movies.  SyrPer wants to thank the First Lady of Qatar, Madame Banana, for making her private Boeing 707 available. 

Pristine rest rooms await you at the “Cape of Fire” if you win.  This view was taken from a taxiing aircraft at Tierra Del Fuego International Airport.   

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