FOURTH POST – OCTOBER 18, 2012 – DAVUTOGLU SUPPORTS NEW DOLL IN HIS LIKENESS; PROMOTES LOVE OF SHORT PEOPLE

FOURTH POST – OCTOBER 18, 2012 – DAVUTOGLU SUPPORTS NEW DOLL IN HIS LIKENESS;

MERCURY NEWS WORLD BUSINESS SERVICE REPORT.   Deliria Von Stumpfkegel reporting from Ankara and Berlin.

MNS reported last year that Turkish Foreign Minister, Ahmed Davutoglu, had contracted with Fattel Toys of Parsippany, New Jersey, to produce a children’s doll in his likeness.  Viewed universally as a “mousey-cute runt-type perfect for today’s generation of iconoclastic internet-addled pre-adolescent junkies”, he seemed like a perfect hit for the Christmas Holidays.  Marketed in 2011 as “UGLY-OGLOO”, the doll was met with some hostility by test children in New York and the doll was pulled from stores out of fear that angry parents might retaliate for any emotional frights experienced by their toddlers. 
As it turned out,  the market study was flawed in that the children used to test the doll were Hasidic Jews from the Bnai Schmaltz Schule of Flatbush, New York.  The children were told that the doll was a replica of a “short Muslim Turkey”.  Thinking that the doll was non-kosher fowl, some children were repelled and started to cry inconsolably.  The error was discovered early this Spring and the doll is back on the shelves….in Australia and Canada. 

This version of the doll was supposed to be marketed in Mongolia and Kazakhstan.  The turban is optional and used to wipe the doll’s nose which is equipped with a “snot-dribbler” in the area where the brain is normally located.  Unfortunately, both governments refused to allow the doll citing its resemblance to an old Turkic evil genie named “Octomoronguk”

Davutoglu filed suit in Manhattan’s Federal District Court to force Fattel to comply with the terms of the contract.  The suit was eventually dismissed after assurances were made that “only erroneous data prevented sale of the doll to the general public”.  The deal was back on track.

Today, Fattel intends to display the unusual toy in Australia and Canada where product testing revealed “curiosity mixed with a sense of exotic adventure on the part of the largely white children polled”.  Aborigine children were uniformly repulsed.  Jacques La Belette, president and CEO of Fattel, indicated that the product would be sold in Australia under the name of “SNUGGLY DOGLOO” while in Canada, predictably, under the name “UGLY IGLOO”.     

In one study on the island of Haiti,  the doll was used as a pincushion by local shamans to punish past spirits of Macumba Momba. The toy was immediately pulled from stores.

Mr. Davutoglu’s image is prepared for “perforation en brochette” by Yvette Dupa of Port au Prince.  Ms. Dupa works with the U.N. Cultural Academy. 

Davutoglu is proud of the doll because it extols the virtues of being short.  As you might know,  during last December’s meeting of the Group of 8,  Baroness Catherine Ashton of Downorupholland claimed that “Mr. Davoggloo (sic) did not attend any meetings” although he stood about two feet below her throughout the entire session.   “This doll strikes a blow for dwarfs” he screamed from his balcony in Ankara.  

  

In this photo, Mrs. Clinton wore flat-heeled shoes while Mr. Davutoglu stood on two milk crates. 


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He may have a mansion awaiting his move to southern Spain. He wants to be near his friends from Saudi Arabia who know their days are numbered.

Let’s hope this happens as quickly as possible.

Paul

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