1.  Why did Benjamin Franklin write that Jews could not return to the Promised Land?

a.  Because ElAl airlines did not fly in the 1800;s;
b.  They were too busy composing music and lending money to European gentry;
c.  Because vampires cannot live off vampires;
d.  They needed a Holocaust to motivate them;
e.  The Ottoman Sultan would have none of that.

2.  Why do the British speak English so strangely?

a.  The English are always drunk on ale and that makes them slur their speech;
b.  It’s the effect of being half German and French;
c.  Bland food, most of the time, and Indian curries make people schizoid and rubber-tongued;
d.  They love to see their own movies with subtitles;
e.  They stuff marbles in their cheeks on both sides.

3.  Who is the most popular portrayer of Native American characters in the Arab World?

a.  Chingachkook;
b.  Tonto;
c.  Squanto;
d.  Monteczuma;
e.  Michael Ansara.

4.  Rock Hudson, Ludwig Wittgenstein, Clifton Webb, Sal Mineo, Vincent Price, Dirk Bogarde,
Gore Vidal, Truman Capote, Tennessee Williams, Montgomery Clift were all related to one another. How?

a. All were Masons in the exclusively white Algiers Order of the Forbidden Casbah;
b. Their names are phony; they are all famous philosophers in the Positivist School;
c. All shared the same mother, Agnes Moorehead;
d. As the neo-Rock band “the Bitch Boys”, they inspired Brian Wilson and his cousins;
e. They were a disparate bunch of  rich and famous fags.

5.  The uninhabited, scorpion-infested islands of Greater Tunb, Lesser Tunb, and Abu Musa, are claimed by Saudi Arabia and Qatar despite an Iranian occupation under color of right.  Why?

a.  Qataris and Saudis believe a common ancestor,  Sheikh Sa’adan bin Qird, lived there among 
a race of fat apes who procreated with unripe bananas;
b.  Qatar wants the islands as a new resort for experimenting pederasts;
c.  The three islands contain Krypton from the planet Zontar which will enable them to fly without wings;
d.  Qataris needs the islands as a jumping off point for their amphibious landing on Iranian soil;
e.  The Saudis and Qataris are just a bunch of stupid, greedy grubs.

6.  What have Saudi Arabia, Qatar and the Emirates done to contribute to global warming?

a.   They increase desert heat with the unbridled use of camel dung as fuel;
b.   Their “Pedophile Resorts and Hostels” monopoly has been operating at maximum levels for air       conditioner use;
c.    Increased their sleeping during daylight hours;
d.    Fired tons of tear gas at demonstrators in Eastern Arabia and Bahrain;
e.    Just produced a lot of hot air.