THIRD POST – AUGUST 21, 2012 – ASSAD OFFERS ASSANGE U.K. EMBASSY IN DAMASCUS

THIRD POST – AUGUST 21, 2012 – MNS REPORTS ASSAD OFFERS ASSANGE U.K. EMBASSY IN DAMASCUS!!!

Tonya LeBete reporting from Damascus; Ulysses Upton Ulrich from London; Pablo Escobar from Quito, Ecuador.

In a startling new development, President Bashar Al-Assad of Syria, has offered Julian Assange, founder of Wikileaks and asylum seeker, the entire British Embassy in Damascus.  Speaking through his foreign minister, Walid Mouallem, the Syrian government “looks with favour upon Julian Assange’s search for a homeland where he can be free to conduct his affairs as long as his presence does not affect the inherent rights of people working at the British Embassy or of the indigenous population of Syria.”

                 Syrian F.M. Walid Mouallem speaking to reporters at the Syrian Foreign Ministry
  
At a press conference convened at the request of Mercury News Service,  Mr. Mouallem offered to help Ecuador legally.  He stated that President Rafael Correa should “grant Assange immediate Ecuadoran citizenship and appoint him Deputy Ambassador to Britain.”  MNS has learned that this would effectively strip Mr. Assange of his burdensome Australian nationality – free him of the cold clutches of the British Commonwealth – and enable him to work as an Ecuadoran diplomat.  Mr. Mouallem described President Assad’s plan as “brilliant…….although I had something to do with it”,  he added sheepishly.

Julian Assange waves good bye to his admirers as he prepares to leave by car to Heathrow Airport and to a new life in the British Embassy in Damascus. 

England has not kept quiet about this “arrangement” and has condemned Syria for interference in its domestic affairs.  Mr. Mouallem responded by saying that “at least we don’t send weapons and combat experts to the British Isles”.  William Hague, England’s foreign secretary weighed in by saying that Syria’s offer to use British territory on its land in Damascus is an “affront to all civilized concepts of diplomacy and is the very outer limit of effrontery”. 

Syria’s Prime Minister, Wael Halqi, stated on Radio Syrie:  “We cannot allow empty buildings to merely sit. Mr. Assange can come and redecorate the British Embassy and make it liveable again.  The English can go to Hell!  Mr. Assange can come here as the Ecuadoran ambassador if he wishes.”
 

Looking miffed and bothered, William Hague condemned Syrian meddling in British affairs and would not answer questions about his demand that President Assad “step down”.

Experts on international law say that Britain is in a difficult position now if President Correa grants Assange both citizenship and a diplomatic position with “immunity” guaranteed under the Vienna Conventions.  Lord Athol Lardhinds, former ambassador and judge of the Old Bailey, remarked that, “We English are very stubborn and like to win.  I’m afraid Mr. Cameron may have to do a Princess Di on this chap.”

With the standoff reaching a boiling point, Russia is said to be sending another fleet to the coast of Britain with the giant nuclear submarine, the Sturgeon.  We will keep you informed as to any new developments.