JULY 10, 2012 – FIRST POST – SYRPER’S WILDLY POPULAR WEEKLY BRAINTEASER IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO ACE. Here we go:
1. The Muslim Brotherhood is in truth, a ……..
a. Fraternal order of child buggerers who have taken the vow of celibacy;
b. Masonic order based in Egypt with Hermes Pan as its present director;
c. Misspelling of the “Muslin Brotherhood”, a textile union out of Yonkers, N.Y.;
d. Islamic equivalent of the YMCA;
e. Fanatical order of dim-witted Sunni Muslims bent on taking the M.E. back to the Middle Ages.
2. “It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent’s fritters”, is from what movie?
a. Le Grand Bouffe;
b. Grapes of Wrath;
c. Cheyenne Autumn;
d. Aguirre, the Wrath of God (Ger. Aguirre: Der Zorngottes)
e. Motel Hell.
3. What is Freon 12?
a. A new rock band from Sicily;
c. A state of complete boredom, one notch above Freon 11;
d. A lubricant for wicker furniture;
e. The Vulcan equivalent of Fahrenheit 451.
4. Arthur C. Clarke died while a resident of what country?
a. Simferopol in the Crimea;
b. The Planet Rodhon;
e. Sri Lanka.
5. Who invented the game of tennis?
a. Why, everybody knows it’s Alfred Lord Tennyson;
b. The Egyptian God, Tannis;
c. Del Tenney;
d. Tennessee Ernie Ford;
e. Some English person, maybe.
6. Manic Depression is now called “Bipolar Disorder”. Why?
a. Too many sufferers were treated as “maniacs”;
b. Manic depression sounded too much like a geological term;
c. Manic depressives were too often subjected to frontal lobe lobotomies. Not anymore;
d. The former was a vulgar word in the Arabic language causing wild laughter;
e. Bipolar sounds a lot more slick.
7. Bonamo’s Turkish Taffy was produced in what country?
a. Turkey, stupid;
b. Cyprus by non-indigenous Turks;
d. The United States;
8. Why was Hollywood director King Vidor named “king”?
a. Because he was more important than the “Duke”, John Wayne;
b. His real name, Cecil, was an embarrassment so his wife called him “king”;
c. It was changed from “Ding” to “King” when Vidor became an American citizen;
d. Because he thought American singer “Prince” was a loser;
e. His father and mother actually gave him that name.
9. How much pork is really in an average can of pork and beans?
a. No one really knows. It’s one of the best kept secrets of the Campbell Corporation;
b. Just enough to pass the “false advertising” test of the FDA;
c. One gram;
d. Enough to keep aficionados guessing;
e. A smidgen.
10. Who is regarded by the cognoscentii as the biggest idiot of the 20th and 21st Centuries?
a. The Afghan who blew up the Buddha statues in Bamyan;
b. The American moron who believed “Curveball’s” lies about WMDs in Iraq;
c. Adolph Hitler for his invasion of Russia;
d. John Q. Public for investing money with Bernie Madoff;
e. Anderson Cooper for believing Syrian Danny’s homemade movies about the bombing of Homs.
This week’s winner will receive a one hour one-on-one spiritual restoration session with Guru Proscia.
We doubt there will be any winners.