SECOND POST – February 22, 2012  –  

Here we go again, people. This installment in our daily programming has become so popular that we are regularly receiving insulting messages implying “laziness” or “contempt” whenever we miss a day.  Well, here we go. Try to keep your time to one hour.  You can use paper and pencil, but, make sure to destroy your work product.  Good luck.

1.  The City of Homs in Syria, famous for a little unrest is named “Homs” because:

a.  It is the city where Hommus was first invented;
b.  It is a corruption of the word, “homos”, or City of Queers;
c.  It is really the work “ooops” but in Aramaic;
d.  It’s really a corruption of the English word “Homes” which was used during the Mandate;
e.  The word Homs is actually Emessa in the Roman tongue and means “hot” in Aramaic.  

2.  Detroit’s claims to be a French city on the river of the same name, from what does Detroit get its name?  

a.  Detritus;
b.  Detoilet;
c.  Detrot;
d.  De-what?
e.  City on the straits.

3.  When T.S. Eliot wrote The Waste Land, he had in mind what place?

a.  Detroit?
b.  Newark?
c.  Flint?
d.  Gary, Indiana?
e.  A world devoid of morals; a world of war and bestiality; of cruelty and superficiality?

4.  What language do people in Qatar speak?

a.  Awabic;
b.  Cretino-Flavian;
c.  Dinka;
d.  Nonsense;
e.  Banana-lingua.

5.  Crete was last ruled by what great leader?

a.  Quik-Crete;
b.  Kong Crete;
c.  Cool Cretan;
d.  Kreme-Krete;
e.  Midas the Minoan Muffler Man.

6.  Zeus takes the form of a swan and swoops down to ravish Leda.  Why?

a.  Swans fly better than eagles;
b.  Zeus was a strange bird;
c.  Human females and swans can successfully reproduce;
d.  Zeus knew Leda had a thing for ornithology;
e.  It’s just a stupid myth.

7.  Brian Epstein managed the Beatles for most of their career. Why?

a.  Brian Epstein was a jew. That’s what jews do;
b.  Brian Epstein was an English jew, same thing;
c.  Brian Epstein was an English homosexual jew, and that’s definitely what they do;
d.  Brian Epstein is really an American. His real name is Herb Alpert;
e.  Brian Epstein made a lot of money managing the Beatles. 

8.  The Nissan “Murano” is named for what beast of legend?

a.  The Murano of Sudan; A water buffalo with six tails and post-nasal drip;
b.  John Travolta’s character,”Tony Manero” in Saturday Night Fever;
c.   Derek Murano, Argentinian cruiserweight boxer and late night talk show host;
d.   Duran Duran Muran, ice hockey legend;
e.  The name was made up by some moron in Japan.

9.  Omar Sharif is really:

a.  A lingerie company based in Yemen;
b.  A cosmetologist who treats your sister;
c.  Irene Sharaff’s bastard brother who couldn’t spell;
d.  A cleverly designated proof in quantum physics;
e.  “Michel Shalhoub”, Egyptian born Syrian actor and apostate.