SAAD HARIRI IS TOLD NOT TO COME BACK TO LEBANON BY AOUN; MNS REPORT, URGENT, ARAB LEAGUE ANIMOSITY NOW EXPOSED;

SECOND POST – February 9, 2012 – According to Lebanese news sources, former Lebanese P.M. and former general, Michel Aoun, told Saad Hariri to leave Lebanon on a one-way ticket.  Hariri is now in Europe, mostly France, and is conniving with the French and Syrian felons to overthrow the government of Dr. Bashar Al-Assad.

Saad Hariri, son of assassinated former p.m. of Lebanon and billionaire, Rafic Hariri, here strikes a pose for the prepubescent girls of Sidon, Lebanon.    
Hariri is not coming back to Lebanon in the near future.  His French hosts have told him that he risks the same fate as his father, especially because they view him as dumb enough to drive the same route that destroyed his father’s motorcade.  Inarticulate, awkward and seemingly devoid of affect, Hariri’s only hope is to prowl the streets of Montmarte with outcast-cuckold Sarkozy at night looking for that elusive Madame Zora.  His efforts to conciliate between Burhan Ghalioun and Abdel-Halim Khaddam have met with failure.  He does, however, play a role in smuggling weapons into Lebanon and then,  to Syria.  Today, Syrian border police intercepted a shipment of weapons brought in by truck just west of Tel Kalakh.  The weapons had all the hallmarks of Hariri, they were mostly Israeli-manufactured and included night-vision goggles.

MERCURY NEWS SERVICE EXCLUSIVE REPORT – Cairo – Nigel Prambucket reporting –

It’s hard to believe, but Nabil Al-Arabi, the Egyptian Secretary General of the Arab League made it official today:  Syria’s Dr. Assad did not live up to this bargain and provide employees and delegates of the Arab League with free eye examinations.  We reported seven months ago that Dr. Bashar Al-Assad, a trained and licensed ophthamologist, had concluded an agreement with the Arab League then-General Secretary, Amr Moussa, that all employed agents of the League and their families would be receiving free eye examinations adminstered by the Syrian president.  Nabil Al-Arabi now has proclaimed the entire affair “…a serious embarrassment for me and my predecessor”. 

Nabil Al-Arabi and Sheikh Boylover of Catarrh confabulating about lost opportunities for free eye examinations.  It is reported that Al-Arabi is livid after finding out he had pink eyes but lacked insurance to pay for any procedure.

Dr. Faisal Miqdad, Deputy Foreign Minister of Syria, is traveling tomorrow to Cairo to assuage any hurt feelings over the “eyepopping” mess created by this misunerstanding.  Russian F.M. Lavrov has assured Mr. Al-Arabi that he would “do everything possible to get the General Secretary free treatment in Damascus”.  Presidential Palace spokesman, Iskandar Louqa, condemned the Arab League, calling it a “flock of impudent, bloodsucking leeches bent on wasting the time of our beloved president”,  but would not add anything to the possibility that Dr. Assad would treat Mr. Al-Arabi.
We at MNS will keep our eyes out for any new developments.

SYRIAN PERSPECTIVES’S WEEKLY BRAINTEASER:  Here is our third (or fourth?) brainteaser prepared by our stable of genii for our readers.  You have only one hour to complete it and may use paper and pencil,  but no eraser.  Good luck and may the best human win:

1.  The upcoming World Cup competition in Qatar is not going to take place there, why?

a.  There are not enough ambulances to carry heat stroke victims;
b.  The American Child Protection Association has decertified Qatar as a safe place for children;
c.  Qataris can’t play soccer and there is general agreement that the games look stupid;
d.  The English team has been disqualified because Qatar owns it;
e.  There will be no Qatar in existence by the time the games start.