ICRC ALLOWED TO EVACUATE INJURED SYRIANS FROM A SMALL PART OF BABA AMR; MNS REPORTS WEDDING PLANS FOR CLINTON AND ZAWAHIRI;

February 25, 2012 – The Syrian government has allowed elements of the Red Cross and Syrian Red Crescent Society to enter the Southeast corner of Baba Amr in the City of Homs to remove some injured people.  Of course, the opposition, railed against this citing some crackpot excuse that the Syrian Red Crescent was an arm of our government.  Well, isn’t that just too bad. The evacuation has taken place without incident and according to some reports, Red Cross officials were surprised at the scarcity of civilians.  That’s because what I told you a month ago was true:  the Syrian government evacuated whole families from the quarter in order to bring down the islamists holed up in there.  That has been accomplished now except for a few blocks in the poorer area of the quarter.   

MNS EXCLUSIVE REPORT:  HILLARY CLINTON TO WED DR. AYMAN ZAWAHIRI OF ALQAEDA IN JUNE. 

Cressida Sniffington reporting from Washington and Kabul.  Photos by Ogden Orffe special to MNS.

It defies belief, but, it’s true. Hillary Clinton, U.S. Secretary of State, has decided to tie the knot with Al-Qaeda leader, wanted terrorist and hated jihadish, Dr. Ayman Al-Zawahiri.  Her spokeswoman, Victoria Nuland confirmed the wedding plans yesterday over cocktails at “Swingers”, a lounge catering to sexually ambiguous adults.  She stated that the wedding would take place in Waziristan at a cave of Dr. Zawahiri’s choosing.

Mrs. Clinton, seen here in a recent photo says she plans to take advantage of her new husbands experience in plastic surgery.  (Photo, courtesy of Orffe).
For very obvious reasons, Dr. Zawahiri could not be reached for comment as he was concerned about all this being a “Navy Seal operation” to get him into what he called “the shooting zone”. His Afghan spokesman, Mullah Wallah Moolah, did admit that the polygamist terrorist was delighted to have Mrs. Clinton in his harem and would “treat her very well”.

Cassandra Chutney of the State Department remarked today that the wedding signals a new age in U.S. and Al-Qaeda cooperation “in the war against secular governments like those in Syria.”  She also praised Al-Qaeda and its new leader for their “support of American policy in the Middle East”. She said in answer to our question regarding any agreements with the terrorist organization that “we are in touch with a public relations firm to deal with the unfortunate events of 9/11.  We think that the wedding will help to dispel any residual hatred of that organization.” 

Mr. Bill Clinton, former U.S. president has responded negatively to the announcement stating “She’s still my wife and she can’t have two husbands.” 

        Donovan Leitch, seen above, is slated to sing at Mrs. Clinton’s wedding after his gig in Catarrh.  The Irish crooner did aver that he had “a dreadful fear of caves.”

We will keep you informed as events develop.  Yadda, yadda, yadda.