THIRD POST – January 30, 2012 – Sorry folks, we pushed the wrong button and wound up publishing one question only for this week’s Brainteaser.  Here’s the rest:

2.  Hermann Goring, Reichsfuhrer of Nazi Germany and chief of the Luftwaffe, is not as fat as Prince Dirigible of Qatar because:

a.  The Prince eats other fat human beings at all five meals of the day;
b.  Goring exercised regularly with all his medals on his chest which increased his sweating greatly;
c.  Goring wore a German girdle with spikes in it to keep the flab down;
d.  The Prince uses a pneumatic inflator to maintain his hold on the “Fat Man” championship title;
e.  The Prince was born a fat slob with fatty genes and love for liquefied suet.

3.  Saudi Arabia prohibits alcoholic beverages and their consumption, why?

a.  Have you ever seen a drunken Saudi man?
b.  Alcohol would break down Saudi inhibitions and result in wild behavior;
c.  Mohamad, the Messenger of God, disliked sweet Syrian wine;
d.  Alcoholic beverages are sophisticated and require refined palates;
e.  The Muslim converts of Medina (Yathrib) were a bunch of rummies who prayed while drunk.

4.  “Why cook tonight, call Chicken Delight” is whose slogan?

a.  The NAACP?
b.  The ASPCA?
c.  KFC?
d.  The Santeria Foundation?
e.  The Free Syrian Army?

5.  Wal-Mart will not open any stores in Saudi Arabia because:

a.  Saudi Arabians are thieves and Sam Walton doesn’t want to chop people’s hands off;
b.  Saudis won’t buy pork products which is what made Sam a billionaire;
c.  Saudis won’t drink alcohol which ruins the floor design of Wal-Mart stores; 
d.  Saudis execute people for sorcery and Sam, as you know, is a Grand Wizard;
e.  Saudi Arabia reeks of B.O., desert heat and camel dung.

6.  Why is Lebanese Hommus better than Syrian, Palestinian or Jordanian?

a.  The Lebanese version uses only the best bootlegged Syrian olive oil;
b.  The Lebanese version contains human sweat which gives it that “pungent saltiness”;
c.  Lebanese Hommus is made with love for Garabanzo beans, while the others show contempt;
d.  Lebanese Hommus is made with French-manufactured Cuisinart food processors;
e.  There is no difference except that the Lebanese are obnoxious derelicts.

7.  Who is history’s most prolific child buggerer?

a.  Silvio Berlusconi of Italy;
b.  Santa Clause;
c.  David Koresh;
d.  John Wayne Gacy;
e.  Prince Hamad of Qatar;

8.  Who said “I’ll cry all the way to the bank”?

a.  King Richard the Lionheart;
b.  Tiny Tim;
c.  Pee Wee Herman;
d.  Prince Pedophile of Qatar;
e.  Liberace.

9.  The Arabs of the Gulf refuse to call it the Persian Gulf, why?

a.  Because the Arabs of the Gulf are a more refined people than the Persians;
b.  Because it’s not enough to have the Arabian Sea named after worthless desert Arabs;
c.  The Persians have their own Caspian Sea and don’t need another;
d.  The Persians would then own the sea and kick out the Arab wastrels living on its shores;
e.  Because that would mean recognizing the superiority of the Persians over the feckless desert Arabs.

10.  Rami Abdel-Rahman of the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights gets his facts from what?

a.  The National Enquirer;
b.  Al-Jazeera;
c.  Reading animal droppings;
d.  Dreams;
e.  Ouija Boards.

Don’t forget, tomorrow is the big day when the winner will be announced.