MATTEL TOYS CLAIMS FINANCIAL DISASTER WITH "CUDDLY CREEP" DOLL;

January 14, 2012- THIRD POST – MERCURY NEWS SERVICE EXCLUSIVE,  Unis Foxpelt reporting from New York City.

MATTEL TOYS COMPANY HAS DISCLOSED HUGE LOSSES IN ITS MARKETING OF TURKISH F.M. CUDDLY CREEP DOLL,

Mattel Toys president, Boris Snardley, declared the Cuddly Creep Doll an “unmitigated financial disaster”.  The doll, which was manufactured after intense negotiations with Turkish Foreign Minister, Ahmed Davutoglu, bears an exact likeness to the frisky, hyperactive and hypocritical Turkish official.  When the doll was first produced, there was speculation that its popularity during the Christmas season would eclipse that of Barbi and GI Joe.  Sadly, despite numerous efforts to remarket the product, the doll went into the doldrums and sank like so much sludge. 

This iconic photo of Davutoglu suggests the frisky cuteness Mattel had hoped would bind little children to its product
When sales of the “Cuddly Creep” doll went prow–down, Mattel made efforts to modify its marketing plan with new names more in line with some countries’ particular cultures.  In Canada the doll was sold as “Cold Creep”; In Autralia, it was offered as Creepy Coot; In France it was labeled “Cretin Sauvage”; Germany boasted the “KriechenKnabe”; And in the U.S., marketers tried to capitalize on the success of “Krispy Kreme” donuts by renaming the doll “Krispee Kreep”.  None of it worked. 

Reports coming in to the company described children being “terror-stricken” when seeing the doll.
One child ran away from her parents at Macy’s in NYC and was almost crushed under the weight of a Santa Clause who tripped over the excited child causing significant injury to a roasted chestnut vendor on the sidewalk. 

     Reba Pfistling was almost crushed by a Santa Clause impostor after seeing “Krispy Kreep”
From his end, Turkish F.M. Davutoglu promised “American-style lawsuits” against Mattel for failing to market his image “cleverly”.  But even in Turkey, where Mattel expected sales to be “boffo”, the doll marketed as “Pesky Critter” went down in a ball of flames – literally.  Muslim fanatics there declared the doll to be the work of “Satan”, a graven image impermissible in Islam, and pure “sacrilege”.  Stores which offerred the doll for sale were ritually put to flames, sometimes while their owners were still inside. 

President Snardley has ordered the doll pulled off the shelves and vowed that he would never use any “Turk again for toy marketing.”