NEWT GINGRICH: HISTORICAL BUFFOON ISSUES OPINION ABOUT PALESTINIANS; BBC IS NOW NOSE TO NOSE WITH NYT IN THE FANTASY CATEGORY; NATIONAL ANTHEM FOR CATARRH; SYRIAN FM ANNOUNCES: NO MORE NICE GUY

December 11, 2011 – You must have heard Newt Gingrich’s recent catastrophic pronouncement – Palestinians are an invented people!  I knew Gingrich was daft about ten years ago just after the 9/11 tragedy.  Interviewed by CNN concerning “profiling”, he mentioned that it worked in identifying Arabs who were intent on doing this country harm.  To prove his point he glibly mentioned the “shoe bomber”, the man who stuffed his shoe with explosives aboard a commercial passenger plane. Oh, he praised the work of the security people and reasserted that Mr. Reed would never have been picked up without racial profiling.  The only problem was, of course, Mr. Reed was a Jamaican built for more basketball than military tactics.

                                   Newt Gingrich here in one of his most common incarnations.
Gingrich is the holder of a Ph.D. in history.  His thesis was on education in the Belgian Congo between 1945 and 1960.  He rarely read about anything else as you can see from his unending concatenations of pure hooey.  Besides his vast knowledge of all things Belgian in Central Africa,  he is also well know for his kind heart, especially after he left his cancer-ridden first wife while she was struggling with the disease.  He will make a great American president. 

BBC – BRITISH BILGEWATER CORPORATION – This is hilarious.  The BBC will not stop quoting the vituperations of these exiled Syrian felons or the unidentified cabal of so-called activists in the LOCAL COORDINATING COMMITTEES.  Today, the BBC “reported” that some parts of Syria in the southern sector were observing a general strike to protest the government’s crackdown on criminals and terrorists.  I thought that that was interesting so I called a distant cousin in the town of Izraa, right in Southern Syria, to ask if anyone was participating in the strike.  Mu’tazz Qandil told me that the only people on strike are those who called for the strike!  All two of them.  Mu’tazz was bubbly and very happy to speak to me because we had not communicated for about three months.  He said that people wanted to make money, not problems.  He said also that the Syrian border patrol was successfully interdicting weapons smuggling operations by searching every vehicle from top to bottom.  Even motorcycles are regularly taken apart to insure that no bullets are stashed in any compartment.  Violators are taken away to a dark place.

When I asked him if Jordan was cooperating with the Arab League in imposing sanctions on Syria, he laughed and said that the Jordanian people would starve to death if that happened.  The sanctions against Syria are a disaster for the Arab League. 

King Abdallah of Jordan in his favorite tunic before the Good Humor retailers convention in Amman 

This reminds me of something else: what do the king and Qaddafi have in common?

They share the same tailor!  The deceased colonel didn’t have much time to wear this outfit while he was in the hands of those “freedom-fighting” murderers. 

Jordan asked the Arab League last Wednesday if they could continue flights in and out of Syria for their national airline, Royal Jordanian.  Syrians provide Jordan with huge income from those flights.  In fact, the head of RJA met with the king to warn him of serious financial problems if the sanctions were enforced.  So far, no sanctions from Jordan have been imposed and they will not be imposed lest the entire economy of Jordan go up in flames along with its hapless monarch.

           Turkish General Hacen Bigfatbug surrounded by his officers presents a fearful sight

Turkish cuddly-creep foreign minister Davutoglu has declared that Turkey might have to intervene to stop the killing in Syria.  Oh my God!  What do the Turks have that we don’t know about?  Do they have some great army capable of defeating the Syrian army and the Iranian army and the Russian navy and the PKK?   Only time will reveal the extent of Turkey’s secret weapon.  I know that Iran has already alerted the Turks that any attack on Syria will trigger a massive response from the Islamic Republic. I know also that General Qassem Solaymani, head of the Revolutionary Guards, has warned all that interference in Syria’s internal affairs would necessarily bring in the IR.

Davutoglu hailing a tax outside the White House with Victoria Nuland, resident hermaphrodite, towering over him
MNS NEWS EXCLUSIVE – CATARRH ANNOUNCES NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM! Aloysius Seamus MacPhorkinduke reporting from Doha. 

      Prince Drum son of Double Drum Husband of Madame Banana after listening to Connie Francis

The apple juice is flowing in Catarrh as Prince Podgy inaugurates a new page in his tiny country’s history:  a brand new national anthem.  It was announced yesterday as the legendary American chanteuse, Connie Francis, deplaned in the country’s only civilian airport and was spirited away to the Hotel Al-Liwaat for a press conference.  That same night, the songstress belted out her signature melody as the new Qatari national anthem:  WHERE THE BOYS ARE.

Copyright problems aside, the song is perfect for the country’s attachment to its historical heritage of child molesting.  Madame Francis apparently did not know that Qatar has become the HQ for the North American Boy Lovers Association and the cynosure for every self-respecting pederast on the planet.  When she was told that her song was now de rigueure in this country for practicing sexual deviants, she frowned and appeared to leave the stage in a huff.  This reporter caught up with her at the hotel which in Arabic means: “Hotel for Child Molesters”.  I asked her what was the problem?

Ms. Francis was beside herself with emotion: “I can’t believe it.  I’m now the poster-woman for pedophiles.  This is where my career is ending?  Screw that fat oaf.  I’m done.”  She was seen leaving that same night and heading to the airport where she took the first available flight to Cameroon.

Syrian foreign minister, Walid Mouallem, has announced in a press conference that the “gloves are coming off” in the mini-battle with Syrian criminals.  Whew!!  Thank you Mr. Mouallem – it’s about time.  And by the by, could we have some deserters hanged publicly.  I don’t think you realize how much the Syrian people want to see the iron hand of their country returning to give them the peace and security they always enjoyed.