THE SCARAB LEAGUE IMPOSES SANCTIONS AGAINST SYRIA;

November 27, 2011 – Just back from my dacha in Northern Michigan where I tried to bag a buck without much success.  Upon returning I heard the heart-wrenching news that the Arab League of Vipers and Vermin has imposed sanctions on Syria for not permitting a Muslim Brotherhood take-over of the country.  This actually comes as a for of relief for SyrPer who, as you know, has been calling for Syria’s, Lebanon’s and Iraq’s voluntary withdrawal from the League. 

In this very recent photograph, Foreign Ministers of Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Jordan announce sanctions against Syria at the Cairo Bath House and Oriental Massage Parlor. 
Can you imagine our delight when the League of Aayraab Dungbeetles announced suspension and sanctions?
We are planning to celebrate tonight with libations and bawdy conversation. 

The BBC article on the subject of sanctions was, as always, laughable.  In one chart, the BBC lamely tries to show that Syria does most of its business with the EU.  That would be nice for the BBC if it were true.  The fact of the matter is, Syria does most of its business with Turkey, Iran, Lebanon and Iraq.  Poor Jordan, if it tries to impose sanctions. Syria will have to close its borders and bring to ruin thousands of Jordanian workers and businessmen.  Oh, please spare us!  Iraq has already told the world it is not going to comply with sanctions, especially while Iraqi-Syrian business is booming.  The same is true of Lebanon.  This worthless organization must be exposed for what it truly is.

ONCE AGAIN, DR. ASSAD.  WE LOYAL SYRIANS CALL UPON YOU TO DO THE FOLLOWING:

1. RESCIND ALL PROMISES OF REFORM WHILE THE UNREST IS GOING ON.  ALL   SEDITIONISTS MUST BE ARRESTED, TRIED FOR TREASON, AND PUT TO DEATH;

2. WITHDRAW FROM THE ARAB LEAGUE IMMEDIATELY;

3.  SIEZE ALL ASSETS OF ALL  ARAB LEAGUE MEMBERS IN SYRIA WHICH VOTED AGAINST YOUR COUNTRY.  WE ESPECIALLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO SIEZE QATAR’S NUMEROUS INVESTMENTS AND DONATE THEM TO ANY SYRIAN CITIZEN HARMED BY THE ARAB LEAGUE’S IDIOTIC IMPOSITION OF SANCTIONS;

4.  DECLARE WAR AGAINST QATAR AND FUND A MOVEMENT TO OUST THE FAT-MAN, PRINCE DRUM SON OF DOUBLE DRUM, AND HIS LAZY WIFE, MADAME BANANA.  WE ALSO WOULD BE PLEASED TO SEE A SYRIAN MANUFACTURED SCUD MISSILE LAND ON DOHA QATAR AS A DELIGHTFUL FLASH OF PANACHE;  A SARIN GAS-EQUIPPED WARHEAD IS AN ADDED THRILL AND INDICATOR OF GOOD TASTE.

Prince Fatso after having dined on two Romanian male orphans in celebration of Gutter’s Grand Opening of the Madame Banana Advanced Academy for Applied Pederasty and Puerophagia. 
5.  FIND AND KILL “COLONEL” RIAD AL-ASAAD BEFORE HIS FATUOUS DECLARATIONS CAUSE US ANY MORE CRAMPS FROM EXCESSIVE LAUGHTER;

In this photograph taken two days ago by Mercury News Service cameraman, Jorge De Losplatanos, “Colonel” Al-Asaad is seen flying in a UFO to the Planet Froufrou where he’s been promised a green card.

6.  ARREST ALL BBC REPORTERS WHO SNEAK IN TO SYRIA AND TRY THEM FOR ESPIONAGE.  PAUL WOOD IS THE ONE WE ARE INTERESTED IN SEEING PUNISHED.  THIS COULD BE ACCOMPLISHED WITH SYRIAN ASSETS IN LEBANON.  NADA BAKRI OF THE NYT IS ANOTHER MISCREANT WHO NEEDS A LENGTHY STAY IN A SYRIAN DUNGEON. 
CONNUBIAL VISITS BY HER HEDGEHOG HUSBAND, ANTHONY SHADID, TO BE STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.