SECOND POST TODAY – November 8, 2011 – SyrianPerspective Public Service Publication: The CIA’s (Culinary Institute of America) profile of Qatar is provided to our readers free of charge:
“QATAR. LOCATION: Right at the instep of the Arabian boot where all the smelly odours collect. SIZE: Not big enough for its corpulent leader whose girth occupies one third of the capital, Doha. FAVORITE PASTIMES OF QATARIS: Child molesting and eating bananas. FORM OF GOVERNMENT: Nothing definable. Autocratic bedouin. Incestuous offspring make up most government employees and officials. BIGGEST EXPORTS: Oil, natural gas and social diseases among men. BIGGEST IMPORTS: pre-pubescent boys from Eastern Europe. HIGHEST MOUNTAIN: The Prince Tubby Towers in Doha is the highest point in the country. Otherwise, its the Al-Toubji Sand Dune. FLORA AND FAUNA: Extinct species of antelope abound in zoos. Transplanted fir and cedar from Europe are plentiful in hotel lobbies and atriums. CURRENCY: The Shekel LEADER: Prince Hamad Bin Khalifa Al-Thani a/k/a Prince Pudgy, Prince Tubby, Prince Fatso, Prince Pork and Prince Tabl Ibn Tablayn Zawj Al-Mawzaaya. LEADER’S CREDENTIALS: Overthrew his own father in 1995; Married to Madame Banana; Is able to understand Arabic with some assistance. MILITARY: The United States Army and Navy provide Qatar with its military depth. SOCIETY: Five white boys to each Qatari. Number of woment unknown SOCIAL HABITS: Qataris are night people. They rarely wake up during daylight hours. Qataris view work and education as mindless drudgeries. RELIGION: Wahhabist (Nifaaqi) FAVOURITE DRINKS: Puree of Banana FAVOURITE FOOD: Camels stuffed with bananas. NATIONAL AIRLINE: Catarrh Airways: “We Take You to Where the Boys Are”. MEDICAL CARE: All medical doctors in Qatar are foreigners. Prince Pudgy has his own team of German doctors who are offspring of the banned Naziarzneikommisariatgruppen,,. Others are mostly unlicensed barbers from Spain and the Phillipines. PLAGUES AND EPIDEMICS: Travelers are warned that AIDS, Chlamydia, Syphilis, Crabs, Gonnorhea, Herpes and BOOGABOOGA VIRUS! and every form of pestilence can be found in this colourful little princedom. Visitors should consult with their local health department and the State Department before taking any trip to Qatar. LANGUAGE: Iraqi-accented Arabic with a long, lazy, catatonic lilt. Collected by Seymour Bathhurst for SyrPer.
I can now say with absolute confidence that the Syrian military has beaten the stuffing out of the traitors in Homs. A friend in Aleppo, Aouni Qazzaz, called me knowing I would love to hear this: “Some of the defectors are actually committing suicide rather than be taken alive by Syrian soldiers”. It’s true. I am delighted. I think it will be all over easily before Saturday. Did these dungbeetles really think they could defeat the entire Syrian Army?