NEWLY CAUGHT FISH IN THE NET OF FRUSTRATION; ARBABSIAR NOT WHAT HE SEEMS TO BE;

October 13, 2011 – Eric Holder whose appearance on the screen reminds me of a Muppett drawn by Gahan Wilson,  has pulled the net in with a Syrian this time flopping around, one Mohamed Soueid, we presume.  Mr. Soueid of Leesburg, Virginia, whose exploits sound like so much dreck, is accused of identifying Syrian traitors and sending evidence of their illicit activities to the SAR.  The BBC reports that he was in contact with the generic: “MUKHABARAT”.  In Syria, that means nothing.  Syria has eleven intelligence and security agencies, some big and some small, with varying budgets and overlapping bailiwicks.  The Justice Department is going to come out of this smelling like Durian,  with pinkish, surly, self-righteous sows and spinsters pinching their Sapphic noses as they head for the placid hills of Virginia.  Only humiliation awaits Mr.  Holder.

All of this, the sleazy tale of Mr. Arbabsiar, a/k/a Bruno Polumbo the Sicilian, indicate one thing:  the American plan to unseat Dr. Assad has come a bit of a cropper.  At a minimum the Oreo Administration wanted to tug the Assad government away from EVIL IRAN!!   But that failed miserably as Iran is more influential today in Syria than ever before.  Americans have become the opposite of KING MIDAS whose touch turned everything to gold.  In our case, everything we touch turns to human ordure.  I know why.  But they do not.  The Arab Spring is becoming the Arab Haybooba, sand and all, blinding all rational beings and making movement oh so very difficult.  Anarchy reigns in every Arab country experiencing this dubious “Erhebung” of enlightenment.  Fanatics are coming out of the creases in every nitred alleyway, preparing to arm themselves for the war the Americans are trying so desperately to avoid.  Syria, on the other hand, with much more experience in dealing with the plague of retrogressive thinking, is in her own steely way protecting American lives.  All that, to no avail and with no hint of appreciation. 

I want to thank people in Russia, Germany and France for joining my readership.  I saw Tunisia the other day but that stopped almost immediately. Maybe they’ll come back.  I hope so.

MERCURY NEWS SERVICE EXCLUSIVE:  MANSOOR ARBABSIAR IS STOOGE FOR INTERNATIONAL ZIONISM, SAYS GHOLAM SHAKOORI OF IRAN; FBI FRUSTRATED WITH ALLEGED ASSASSIN; ARBABSIAR IS STUDENT OF KHALED SHAYKH MOHAMMED: Rodolfo Manfred DeGildenfester, reporting from Washington.

The Iranian government today has responded formally to accusations that the Quds Brigade of the Revolutionary Guards tasked Mansoor Arbabsiar with assassinating Saudi “weasel”, Ambassador Adel Jubeir, of Saudi Arabia.  After some untoward remarks concerning Mr. Jubeir’s sexuality,  the Iranian spokesman, Gholam Shakoor, himself accused of collaboration with Arbabsiar, said: “We know this Arbabsiar, he took some Farsi courses in Monterey, California, and started dating an Iranian girl in Los Angeles. Her name was Fatima.  He told me he had the `hots’ for Iranian girls.  At that time he called himself, Bruno.’  The Italian heritage of Mr. Arbabsiar has already been revealed by MNS Investigative Reporter Brunhile Liebesbombe, but now his family is involving itself openly in the investigation.  Our reporter, Comely Saxe-Bulge in Palermo, Sicily, has this to report:  “Luigi Polumbo, the alleged father of Mr. Arbabsiar has made it plainly clear that the man in the photos is indeed: `My stupido bambino, Bruno’.  He went on to say that Bruno,  wanted to play Arab terrorists in the movies for Hollywodd after Cinecitta rejected him because he `could not act’ any better than our Prime Minister’.  He went to America to be like that Austrian weightlifter, `What’sa iz name, Schnottenfegger?’  Apparently he also saw a movie with Sally Field titled `Not Without My Daughter” in which an Italian-American actor credibly played an Iranian bent on taking his wife and daughter to Iran to live as Muslims after the Khomeini Revolution.  Mr. Polumbo describes his son as `You knowwa, heah silly bambino. He drinka too mucha vino.”    

Mr. Shakoor in Iran claims that the name `Arbabsiar’ was intended to remind people, `not of Iranians, but of Arabs’ in a reference to the fabled FBI sting operation Arabscam.  “He is puppet of zionists”, he exclaimed in Tehran.  MNS is looking into possible connections with international zionism and will report to its readers the findings as they unfold. 

S.A..Rupert Algg of the FBI told this reporter that “Arbabsiar, or whoever he is, is an admirer of Khaled Sheikh Mohammed, the Pakistani Al-Qaeda operative in custody who is charged with masterminding the 911 massacre”.  When asked how he knew that, S.A. Algg remarked: “He said so during our first interrogation.  He said that he really admired Mohammed’s lifestyle.  He liked the way he looked in his undershirt as he was being arrested in Pakistan.  That’s what he said.”  When I asked him if he thought Mr. Arbabsiar was all there, he responded:  “We have Dr. Jerrald Post looking at him right now.  He might be spending some time `under observation’.”  We will have more for our readers.