THE ABDUL-HAKIM AMER BRIGADES OF SYRIA, CONQUERORS OF LILLIPUT; OUR NEW RESTAURANT AND BAR REVIEW SECTION;

September 27, 2011 SECOND POST TODAY – Aljazeera in English has posted an insightful article by Nir Rosen who travelled to Syria and met with some deserters who claim to have formed the Khalid Ibn Al-Waleed Army of Liberation, or some such Geschwatz.  He is misinformed but makes some astute observations.  I recommend the article.  I am utterly deflated, however, by the use of great Islamic generals as titles for these miniscule, disorganized bands of thugs and highwaymen.  They are being ground into so much “kibbeh nayyeh” right now as I write this post.  I know that special forces have been deployed in Al-Rastan to go house to house to kill or capture the rabid weasels claiming to be defenders of the people’s right to march.  Oh, will the saints spare us any more of the raving platitudes of inbred human detritus!  They have named imaginary brigades as the “Salahuddin Brigade” and the “Abu Ubaiyda Brigade”. But what about the Abdul-Hakim Amer Brigade?  He commanded the Egyptian army during the 1967 Six Day War.  Wouldn’t he be a better symbol for their true capabilities?  I mean, let’s be realistic. 

As news becomes more mercifully scarce from Syria, the SyrianPerspective Project, has engaged the services of several recognised authorities in the culinary arts, mixology and oenology to review restaurants and drinking establishments around the world.  This is a much-sought-after area of entertainment appropriate for an audience preoccupied with hedonism, epicurianism, imbibationism (don’t look that up in the OED) and ethical putrefaction. Our first reviewer is internationally renowned wine and liquor maven, Claudel Van DeBunnz, former editor of KITCHEN ICONOCLASTICISM MAGAZINE – the radical voice of revolutionary counter-traditional “nouvelle-outre” technique and “presentation bombastiques”.  He has teamed up with his former roommate and soul-mate, Beauregard Blipp, to establish the “In Your Face” food movement that deplores sissy-like artistic wastefulness but extols the virtues of, as Escoffier called it, “Ram it Down the Gullet Ritz!”.  In tomorrow’s post, Monsieur DeBunnz will review a pub named the “Caper” in Dearborn, Michigan focusing on its location and quality of beverages. Claudel has been praised for his “punctiliously pungent pedantery” and “coruscating kaleidoscopic Klingonisms”.  His new association with SyrianPerspective has been hailed as a “mating of cormorants” by art critic Addison Minsk.  Au revoir and bon appetit from the staff of SyrPer.  Ziad