NEW LOWS IN AMERICAN POLITICS; ABU-MAZEN AGONISTES AT THE UN; WADDAH KHANFAR QUITS AL-JAZEERA IN ANOTHER EPIDEMIC OF ABANDONMENT; UAE CAUSES NEW STENCH IN YEMEN

September 21, 2011 – I watched the spectacle yesterday of Rick Perry deliberately abasing himself before the media.  When our politicians become abject clowns, motley-clad fools dancing a jig before a council of trailer park managers, our civilization is descending into decrepitude.  How could any human being who aspires to the highest office in the land be so unctuous in his patronization of people no more valued than a swarm of chiggers?  I’m sorry, Tony, your adoration for this Texan nincompoop leads me to the conclusion that your standards need to be revisited and tuned upwards.  Besides being a murderer, this man has the taste and style of Slim Pickens at his most cowboyish. 

And talk about new lows.  Barack Obama has brought so much shame to the White House with his wrong-headed support for that Zionist Abomination that sucks the blood from this country’s veins, turns friends against us, smears our reputation with the ordure of hypocrisy and gives nothing in return but promises of money to finance disreputable snake-oil salesman all in the service of an entity they can’t find on the map. 

He ordered the U.S. delegation to veto the resolution which would declared “illegal” zionist settlement building on the West Bank.  Our allies voted in favor of it.  Britain and France voted for the resolution.  But Obama chose to use the icy, peremptory power of the veto to undo what virtually all international legal scholars agree upon: the settlements are in violation of the U.N. Charter concerning an occupying power’s duties to the lands it occupies and the people under their control.  This man has no sense of decency or shame.  That there is no one better in the Republican camp means only that our system is failing the United States. 

Today he will meet with Pomegranite Salesman Mahmoud Abbas, the most obsequious of Palestinians with his can-do, quasi-robotic Salam Fayyad.  Both these men should partner with Fouad “Boo Hoo Hoo” Siniora and open a bank in Cyprus where they can do what destiny has prepared for them: a life of anonymity shuffling loan applications and counting euros.  Do us all a favor and go away!  Your ignominious bungling of all affairs Palestinian leaves a taste in the mouth not terribly dissimilar to the pulp of an unripe persimmon.  Oh sure, Abbas is avuncular and courtly; which is exactly what Palestinians do not need at this time.  Yes, he’s viewed positively by the enemies of the Arab people.  And isn’t that encouraging? 

The act of submitting the Palestinian request for membership to the UN is the one,  singularly most patriotic gesture ever to emerge from that bloated scarecrow of a man.  While I view the creation of another state carved out of Natural Syria as something reprehensible, that negativity is outweighed by the need to ram the image of Palestine, as the home of the autochthonous people whose ancestors’ footsteps inform the very essence of the land, right up the snout of slavic jews whose very presence in Palestine is a fermenting, festering chancre upon the honor of Syria.  Notwithstanding my insistence that you and Fayyad disappear from the scene by whatever instrumentality you find acceptable, do not fail Palestine today when you have to degrade yourself by sitting next to that lying hypocrite Obama. Don’t be fooled by American promises – they are always empty.  Bide your time until the reincarnation of my Lord Baybars who will take away all the pain and broom out the refuse all the way to Ras Al-Naqoura. 

I am pleased to announce that WADDAH KHANFAR, the director of Al-Jazeera has tendered his resignation and is now out of his old job.  I have contacted the BBC to inform them that, from a medical point of view, the number of resignations could be considerd an epidemic.  This means that Khanfar and Jaballah, join the stellar cast which includes: Ghassan Ben Jeddo, Sami Kulaib, Joumana Nammour, Jamil Azar and Faisal Qassem.  Al-Jazeera has become a skeleton of its former self with its patent fabrications and shameless tongue-in-cheek reports.  No one watches it anymore.  When my finger mistakenly lands me on the Al-Jazeera channel, a frisson of horror invades my othewise imperturbable countenance.  PRINCE FATSO’s ravenous appetite for stupidity can be blamed for the mess. 

MERCURY NEWS SERVICE EXCLUSIVE: Albrecht Hundtjager from Hodeida. A delegation from the UAE has arrived in Yemen to conduct a “parlay” on resolving the political problems ailing that country.  Upon their arrival, an immediate cease fire was arranged due to an odor emanating from Sanaa’s airport.  The aroma was immediately recognized by Syrian diplomat, Rafeef Dabajaaneh, who said that she recalls the same “stench” when the ambassadors of Bahrain, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait were still in Damascus.  “My Lord, it was so nice when they were withdrawn by their governments.  Our air quality has improved by 1000%.” When this reporter sniffed what was an overpowering smell resembling old cheese, a Camembert-like smell, tropical crotch disease or just jungle rot , we relocated to the coastal city of Hodeida where the winds come in from the coast.  Efforts to bring the delegation to meet with Yemeni representatives of the Saleh and Al-Ahmar tribes were frustrated because of the lack of gas masks demanded by the Yemeni side.  Mu’zib Muslih Al-Ahmar, no relation to General Al-Ahmar, was cautiously optimistic: “The Syrians have promised to send us Russian made gas masks which they used to use with the Qatari legation.  This is very bad. With all their money, you’d expect them to smell better.”  A Syrian Air Force transport plane is reportedly on its way to Sanaa with masks and ammonia-based disinfectants.  More on this story as it develops.