September 19, 2011 – Second posting today. Internationally mysterious liar and fabricator, Rami Abdelrahman, of the Syrian Lavatory for Human Rights, a one-man creation of MI6, announced the astounding news that FIVE! Say that again…. Five, people were killed today around the area of Homs! Abdelrahman, who claims to live in a fictional town called Coventry and who is married to a fictional Syrian woman who has bore a fictional child for him, does not tell you who the people are or whether they were armed. No, he just blathers on about “pro-democracy activists and demonstrators” who have lost their lives in the quest for true freedom democracy and the American Way. What drivel! In truth, the Syrian police and army are constantly uprooting odurate, slimy slugs, who are armed by Prince Fatso and Abdallah the Lazy of Arabia. It is their duty to send these miscreants and islamist codpieces into the ponderous umbra of Gehenna itself. But, that’s it?
Turkish self-described genius and cuddly cutie-pie, Foreign Minister Davutoghlu, has expectorated another one of his “grand schemes” for tranforming the Middle East into an Islamist empire ruled by the Sublime Porte under the Good Sultan and Caliph, Recep Tayyip Erdoghan the Magnificent. Of course, Dr.Davutoghlu shall be appointed Sheikhulislam and shall be responsible for issuing fatwas to enable Mr. Erdoghan to punish minorities at will, especially those pesky christians and other members of the Ahl Al-Dhimma. And dont’ forget those stubborn Kurds and wily Armenians. Up the flagpole with the tanzimat, this time Turkey is going to go totally oriental. What a glorious beginning for the rise of a new Sick Man of Europe, complete with red fez, baggy shirwals and a Janissary at every corner. Can’t wait. In any case, Davutoghlu thinks Egypt is the next domino to fall to it. This is the same country, a basket case no doubt, which extols the virtues of one its favourite sons, Mohamad Ali Pasha, who couldn’t speak a work of Arabic.
Gul! Gul! Cok Guzel, Effendim! Ziad