A New Modest Proposal

August 1, 2011 – So Obama is “appalled” by the violence in Syria.  Is he appalled by the murder of at least 300,000 Iraqi civilians?  Has he said it?  We have revealed the disinformation campaign being waged by the U.S. State Department.  It would all go away if Dr. Assad rescinded all agreements with Iran and scorned Hizbullah in Lebanon.  It’s so obvious and so shameful. 

BBC reported (from Beirut as always) that the salafist insurgents are using live ammunition.  No way.  Aren’t  they just peaceful young people trying to bring democracy to their country?  Mr. Hague, British boor and international hypocrite, is calling for more sanctions against Syria.  How many more do the feckless English have?  Does Syria care?  No. I’m afraid not.  After years of marginalization, Syria is immune to these zionist techniques of persuasion. In any case, it is this writer’s fervent wish that the salafists and takfiris are sent to Britain where they can link up with other wildmen from the Sub-Continent, as in Coventry, and bring the whole flaming English joke to its logical conclusion.  

I’ve been talking about using dissenters’ bodies for anatomical purposes at Syria’s medical schools.  I’ve made it clear that only dead people should be used for this purpose and for a number of reasons.  I have specifically distanced myself from the proposition that people can be “made dead” and used for anatomical instruction.  I now declare, in addition to all that I have written, that the dead insurgents, salafist, takfiris, Muslim Brethren and Fake Muslims,  should not be eaten!!!  Because Syria produces sufficient quantities of vegetables and fruit with access to adequate protein from ovine and bovine sources,  there is no need to arrange these buggers on the skewer and cook them over the barbie.  I am aghast that I even thought of such a thing.  Schade, Schade. 

But wait, wouldn’t the whispered, susurrous hint that detainees will be used to feed the Syrian Second Army Group (Al-Faylaq al-Thani)  adequate to send frissons of anxiety througout the ranks of the criminal seditionists?  Its bad enough to wind up on the slab in some anatomy class…but…on somebody’s plate with an onion and tomato?  This is preceisely the kind of scandalous disinsformation of which the U.S., U.K and the French (most notably) are remarkably capable.  But I wonder what salafist meat tastes like?  Do they taste like chicken? 

Deir El-Zor, again, one of Syria’s great centers of learning, is up in arms (literally) in an effort to get those Alawis out and some Sunni (any Sunni) in.  Anyone who panders to the low-lying grunge populating the world of zionism by disseminating orotund reports confirming that Deir El-Zorians are intellectuals steeped in the tradition of Voltaire or Rousseau and whose movement is peaceful should read the latest reports from Syrian journalists.  Deir El-Zor is bristling with weapons which it uses against the lawful representatives of the Syrian government.  Dr. Assad, finish them off!  There is a Smorgasbord waiting for them.  Ziad.