July 26, 2011-I want to go over yesterday’s unwanted NYT. Amazingly, I just received another for Tuesday even though I disconnected myself from the NYT last week with a telephone call to a somewhat insouciant dame with a nasal twang.
Anthony Shadid, who should be composing fiction in Hollywood for some studio, wrote an article yesterday for the NYT titled “New Loyalties and Old Feuds Collide in Syria”. It started out with the inspiring story of Iyad, some Syrian, Homsi codpiece naming his daughter “Dara’a” after the illustrious southern Syrian center of learning of the same name. That’s right, he named her either “shield” or “belch”. He wrote his little precis from Homs! What! The Syrian government is still permitting these zionists to enter the country to foment discord? Yes. The answer is yes. This is exactly what the enemies of Syria need; to be able to broadcast their farcical message to the world in the hope that somebody will believe them. Sadly, while all this goes on, the Syrian economy suffers; merchants suffer as do manufacturers and service-sector employees.
I know that Shadid is being shadowed by minders. So I know that every time he meets somebody, the Syrian authorities are cognizant of the meeting and the personalities involved. So you now you have to believe that he met a former Republican Guard officer who told him that he felt the government of Dr. Assad was pushing the revolt in the direction of violence. Would a former officer in the RG actually say something like that knowing fully well that Political Security officers are as ubiquitous as they are numerous? Did Shadid do this man any favor by meeting with him? Or, better yet, did Shadid really meet with anyone anyway?
Shadid quotes Homsis at the Sword of God Mosque in the city’s center: “With our souls and our blood, we sacrifice for you, Dara’a.” If the truth be told, no Homsi would ever sacrifice anything for Deraa. In typical Syrian fashion, Homsis see themselves as though in a world apart. Deraawis are hayseeds whose speech patterns, while Levantine, bespeak a background of sullen fly-swatting and monotonous exchange of jibberish. Homsis think of themselves as more sophisticated; imbued with a wily sense of humor that is widely recognized in the Levant. To think that anybody in Homs would chant the metrically awkward slogan suggested by Shadid is to promote the idea that alligators can levitate; that shoes can speak; that vinegar can revert to wine. Oh, agony! I have to go now to interpret in court in a criminal hearing. I shall get back to this subject anon. Ziad Abu Fadel.