November 1st, 2016 08:51 am    297 comments

TAL KURDI FREED OF TERRORIST STENCH; SAA ON VERGE OF ENTERING DOUMAA; LEBANON’S NEW PRESIDENT, A VICTORY FOR HZB AND SYRIA–THE REASONS THE ENEMY BROKE DOWN

DAMASCUS:  The Syrian Army is on the verge of taking back Doumaa, the last stronghold of the cretinous Saudi-funded Jaysh Al-Islam, once led by the supercilious knucklehead named Zahraan ‘Alloosh whose remains are yet to be found.   The Syrian Army has confirmed entering Tal Kurdi which is the entryway into Doumaa.   Intercepted chatter from JI…

May 25th, 2016 08:42 am    328 comments

TERRORIST GROUPS BEG RUSSIA FOR TIME TO DISAVOW TIES TO ALQAEDA; CEASE FIRE STILL ON THE TABLE AS SYRIAN ARMY GORES OBAMA’S CANNIBALS IN THE QALAMOON

Russia’s Defense Minister, General Sergei Shoigu, answers questions at a press conference during which he mentioned the collapsing morale of the terrorists MOSCOW:  The Russian Defense Ministry has received over 10 positive responses to the demand for a cease fire in Syria.  Many groups formerly associating themselves with Alqaeda/Nusra, the Saudi Arabian-funded terrorist group, have…

February 10th, 2016 01:42 pm    119 comments

37 RATS BITE DUST IN DAARAYYAA; SYRIAN ARMY BUSTS ALQAEDA AT SALAMIYYA

Zowie! Look at that cannon on that tank.  DAMASCUS: Daarayyaa:  A sad day for the rodent world.  Saudi Arabia sheds a tear.  Erdoghan’s Turkey bewails the loss of its favorite heretics and blasphemers.  Yesterday and today, the Syrian Army blasted into fortifications killing all these rodents belonging to “Al-Kateebat Al-Muwahhada” (the Unified Brigade) of the…

November 10th, 2015 07:49 am    67 comments

EVA BARTLETT EXPOSES WESTERN LYING ABOUT RUSSIA TARGETING SYRIAN HOSPITALS

American Diplomacy at its Finest: spokesperson backtracks on accusations of Russian airstrikes hitting civilian infrastructure Corporate media and the US government first accused Russia of attacking Syrian civilians **before** the airstrikes had even begun a month ago. Now, their latest scheme is accusing Russia of bombing hospitals in Syria (and ignoring the actual bombing of…

August 11th, 2015 11:44 am    51 comments

SULAYMAAN AL-ASSAD CAPTURED AND TO BE CHARGED LIKE ANY ORDINARY CITIZEN FOR MURDER

LATAKIA:  Sulaymaan Hilaal Al-Assad was taken into custody at about 9:00 p.m. Sunday night after eluding elements of the General Security Directorate, Military Police and the enraged citizens of Latakia.  Sulaymaan Al-Assad is the second cousin of the president and the son of a war hero, Maj. Gen. Hilaal Al-Assad who gave his life defending…

June 16th, 2015 01:09 pm    167 comments

NEW HEIGHTS SEIZED BY SYRIAN ARMY FROM ISIS IN QALAMOON; MORE NAILS IN THE ISIS COFFIN

  DAMASCUS:  It’s getting closer.  Today, we learned the SAA and HZB have secured the following strategic heights in the area of the Al-Jaraajeer Foothills: Tallat Ra`s Al-Koosh and Qurnat Ra`s Al-Sa’ba.  These are areas which used to be controlled by ISIS until the heroic forces of the Syrian state and the Lebanese Resistance decided…

June 16th, 2015 09:03 am    68 comments

ALQAEDA MASSACRED IN BUSRAA AL-SHAAM BY SYRIAN ARMY; 100+ RATS KILLED; MAJOR SETBACK FOR U.S. TERRORIST SUPPORTERS IN JORDAN

  DER’AH:  The new tactics are working elegantly.  Intercepted rodent communications indicate a full awareness of the adaptation of the Syrian Army to a recently  introduced style of warfare which imitates Hizbollah’s own methods as used successfully in South Lebanon during July of 2006 when the Lebanese Resistance ground Zionist Army vermin into the ground…

May 18th, 2015 02:48 pm    160 comments

SYRIAN ARMY BATTERS ZIONIST TERRORISTS IN QALAMOON, ALL FALEETA ABOUT TO FALL; COLONEL SUHAYL AL-HASSAN PREDICTS ENTRY INTO JISR AL-SHUGHOOR-NOW!!

Faleetaa Foothills:  The rodent communications tell it all.  There are no avenue for resupply and the remaining bearded Alqaeda rodents have been told that they will soon be at God’s side.  Ho. Ho. Ho.  My Syrian derriere.  They are being annihilated as I write. According to Monzer, who just came back from Zabadaani, the concentric…