April 15th, 2014 03:07 pm    12 comments

PRESIDENT ASSADS SAYS GOODBYE TO BANDAR AS CROWDS CHEER ARMY IN ‘ASSAAL AL-WARD

“Good bye, Bandar. Toodleydoo. Arrivederci (but not too soon), Hasta la Vista Baby, Salve Tibi Jerkus, Adieu, Ta ta. Dosvedanye, Y’all don’t come back now ya heah, Bon voyage, A bien tot, Aufwiedersehen……” “Kingdom of the Apes”:  It’s official: Bandar is out as head of General “Intelligence” and Yusuf Al-Idreesi is in.  King Abdullah decreed…

April 15th, 2014 09:36 am    10 comments

ALEPPO: DAY OF JUDGMENT APPROACHING QUICKLY

ALEPPO: With news of astounding SAA victories in the Qalamoon and Homs, the pressure is on field commanders in Aleppo to reprise these successes in Syria’s most important commercial hub.  We have confirmed the breaking of the siege around the Central Prison as rats try to assess their situation- in vain – and in the…

April 11th, 2014 05:03 pm    31 comments

THE HASHEMITE PRIMER FOR SURVIVAL IN THE SYRIAN DESERT

“What do you mean I’m a desert loving Englishman?” asks the clearly perturbed monarch of the Grand Duchy of Jordan    AXIOM ONE:  No matter who your bloody mother really is, your real mother is England. AXIOM TWO:  If your real biological mother is English, then you’re all set. AXIOM THREE: Never trust a Palestinian. …

April 7th, 2014 12:12 pm    53 comments

ANOTHER AMBUSH IN ADRAA

    DAMASCUS:  You know, we’re starting to feel sorry for the Saudi-supported rodents.  How many times does this have to happen?  But, don’t worry.  It’s going to get much better. Bandar is coming back. Ooooooooooooooh. ‘Adraa Industrial area:  NDF and SAA snared 20 rats in a trap as they tried to get out of…

March 24th, 2014 11:15 am    40 comments

SYRIAN ARMY KILLS HUNDREDS OF RATS IN KASSAB; SYRPER MOURNS DEATH OF HILAAL AL-ASSAD NDF COMMANDER; HIZBOLLAH KILLS 3 TERRORIST BOMB EXPERTS; NUSRA LOSES 5 LEADERS AT PRISON;WILE E. COYOTE MOMENT

LATAKIA:  Heavy fighting continues in the Kassab area on the Turk border of Turkish-Occupied Syria as the rat terrorist army financed by the Saudi Arabian apes continues to try achieving minor victories in the face of astounding losses all along the border with Lebanon and Jordan.  Actual SAA estimates of dead rats at Kassab is…

March 16th, 2014 09:25 am    11 comments

WHAT IS THE SYRIAN LAVATORY FOR HUMAN BLIGHT? HOW DOES IT OPERATE? WHAT IS THE BRITISH FOREIGN OFFICE DOING WITH IT?

The British government has been instrumental in turning a backwater “news” source, run by an intellectual midget with scant linguistic ability, into a front line manufacturer of “facts” for major media outlets whose sole purpose is disseminating propaganda about the Syrian conflict, the Syrian army, the president, Dr. Assad, and the role of “apocalyptic Shi’ism”…