November 10th, 2016 10:45 am    197 comments

PRESIDENT ASSAD BIDS FAREWELL TO HILLARY CLINTON; SYRIAN ARMY LIBERATES AL-HIKMA SCHOOL; AIR FORCE FLATTENS SENIOR COMMANDER OF JAYSH AL-ISLAM

Our blue-eyed prez has got to go through the painful drudgery of valediction again in the aftermath of Hillary Clinton’s rousing defeat on Tuesday, November 8, 2016.  Most of us wept with joy at seeing the sullen crone go down the chute to the inevitable chamber-pot of dashed hopes, vanished dreams and foiled schemes.  Like…

December 3rd, 2015 10:49 am    126 comments

LATAKIA: JOINT SYRIAN-RUSSIAN PREPARATIONS TO BLOCK RAT ESCAPE FROM JISR AL-SHUGHOOR; ARMY ADVANCES IN DAMASCUS

LATAKIA:  We are not reporting here anything exclusive or new.  It is now well known that Syria’s Special Forces are involved with Russia’s Speznaz in training for the rear-holding action which will start quite soon in the Waadi Al-Ghaab area to liberate the town of Jisr Al-Shughoor from the stink and disease of American-supported “moderate”…

October 14th, 2015 11:10 am    213 comments

QUNAYTRA: NUSRA COLLAPSING UNDER ITS LEADER’S BLUSTER; NEW ARMY ADVANCES IN EAST DAMASCUS HAS RATS REELING

DAMASCUS:  With Syrian Army morale bobbing off the firmament, a new campaign to exterminate Alqaeda, ISIS and the Jaysh Al-Islam has begun.  It is so ferocious that Abu Muhammad Al-Jawlaani, Alqaeda’s leader in Syria, fresh from a bender in London, has declared he had the funds to offer a 3.4 million dollar reward for anyone…

August 18th, 2015 02:45 pm    84 comments

AL-ZABADAANI 99% DELOUSED: DEFENSE MINISTRY TO ANNOUNCE COMPLETE VICTORY: SYRIAN ARMY LIBERATES MORE TOWNS AS CAMPAIGN TO ELIMINATE RATS CONTINUES

DAMASCUS:  We are seeing a sea change in the military situation in the Damascus area.  The rodents belonging to the major criminal terrorist gangs are unable to affect the outcome of the battle for Al-Zabadaani.   No matter how much ‘Alloosh’s psychopaths try to distract the army, it’s just not working.  As of right now, I…

July 23rd, 2015 03:00 pm    84 comments

ZABADAANI: TERRORISTS PLEADING FOR TRUCE AND AID; SYRIAN ARMY REJECTS ALL OFFERS

DAMASCUS:    Al-Zabadaani:  A major brouhaha is brewing between Harakat Ahraar Al-Shaam and Nusra/Alqaeda.  You see, the Ahraar rats want to surrender on terms acceptable to their core leadership.  Nusra wants no part of any such delay in their plans to ride the Choo-Choo to Charon’s canoe.  Threats abound as Nusra has declared its willingness…

July 9th, 2015 03:16 pm    82 comments

LATAKIA AND GHOUTA: TURKEY’S MONKEYS CRASH AND BURN ALL OVER THE NORTH AND SOUTH; ERDOGHAN INCENSED!

LATAKIA:  It’s becoming tedious.  The rat infiltrators just can’t get any mileage up there in those mountains and they’re losing their grip on reality.  They seem to be trying to distract the forces preparing to attack Jisr Al-Shughoor.  I don’t know.  All I know is that their efforts have met with failure after failure.  …

July 5th, 2015 10:34 am    197 comments

ZABADAANI DONE! CLEAN UP! LOCAL OPPOSITION FIGHTS WITH SYRIAN ARMY; DAMASCUS RATS LIE IN PILES OF FERTILIZER

DAMASCUS:  AL-ZABADAANI: The Ministry of Defense will not allow any announcements until the entire town is cleaned out completely.  I have written about this before.  The MoD has warned news services not to declare any area rat-free until every rat is finished off.  SyrPer does not agree with the MoD’s very conservative standards.  What we…