DAMASCUS: I know you are all anxious to hear that the SAA has killed ‘Alloosh. You cannot be more anxious than your editor. The SAA has now officially closed every tunnel, pathway, exit, ventilation shaft, drain and sewer in the city of Doumaa. He has no way out. He will be dead shortly.
Al-Reehaan Farms: Liberated and being pitilessly cleaned out by the SAA and the PDC:
Ihsaan Al-Ghaamidi (The Ghaamidis are a SAUDI family originally from Ben-Laden’s Hadhramoot. A family of stingy apes)
Sa’eed Abu-Bakr Haaroon (LIBYAN SWINE DROPPING)
All weapons and ammo were destroyed.
Zamalkaa: A large number of rodents were exterminated yesterday and here are their names:
Another 5 could not be identified.
Harastaa at the Secondary Roundabout: 2 rodents bit the dust:
The second one was not identified and is believed to be North African.
Zibdeen: A firefight at the Tayyiba Intersection led to 9 rats killed and 12 taken prisoner in various states of poor health.
Khirbat Al-Sultaana: Major advance by SAA as the area is about to fall to the government.
Maysaloon: Heavy fighting with no details at present. Historically important name in modern Syrian history because of the battle fought against the miserable French.
NEWS AND COMMENT:
Readable article about Vlad with one hilarious howler about how Kissinger, a German Jew, could have taught Putin how Americans think:SYRIAN ARMY CLOSES DOUMAA COMPLETELY; ‘ALLOOSH QUIVERING IN HIS HOLE by Ziad Fadel