SECOND POST – JUNE 5, 2013 – CAPTAIN KANGAROO TO PERSONALLY COMMAND FAKE SYRIAN ARMY; NEWS FROM AROUND THE WORLD

MERCURY NEWS SERVICE HAS LEARNED THAT GEORGE “THE SWORD OF GOD” SABRA HAS DECIDED TO PERSONALLY COMMAND THE FAKE SYRIAN ARMY.  PRESIDENT ASSAD SAID TO BE DUMBFOUNDED!  FIRST LADY, ASMA AL-ASSAD,  SAYS “POOP”!

George Sabra, seen here with his adjutant, Kentucky Colonel Crispin Greenjeans, just before the announcement that he was going to relieve Gen. Saleem Idrees of his command over the Fake Syrian Army.

(Brunhilde Liebesbombe reporting with Ogden Orffe, photographer.  Exclusive to MNS)

George Sabra, pacing de long en large, up and down the fetid, bug-filled, humid corridor of this hotel in Istanbul,  kept muttering:  “How could they lose Al-Qaseer?” (sic)  His depression was even more on display after our crew confronted him outside the foyer of the 17th Century Ottoman brothel, now used as a way-station for itinerants from Sub-Saharan Africa where the Erdoghan government usually lodges Christian, Hindu and animist diplomats.  His demeanor was stern and his speech clipped like that of an English martinet.  We asked him what he was going to do now that the military campaign of the FSA in Syria had been dealt a devastating blow in Homs?

“I will first refuse to attend the Geneva-II conference.  I’ll let Kerry know this.  I will demand more weapons from Prince What’s-His-Face.  I will train an army of mutant lemurs from Madagascar to invade Syria to crush Assad’s.  I will fire Idrees and command the army myself.  I am the first Christian Stalinist Communist Kiddy-Show Producer to command Al-Qaeda!!”  With that he raised his index finger into the air while slurping some Turkish raki (a grape liquor which tastes like ouzo) from a pocket sized “bat-ha”.  “That’s what I’ll do.”  He walked off.  And, we followed. 

MNS:  Have you informed General Idrees of your decision?

SABRA:  I called him this morning and told him he was a limp-wristed, addle-brained, twaddle-thumbed, doofus-duffed, quack-quacked, boozing-snoozing, dipsomaniacal dunderhead.  That’s what I told him.  I told him he was fired, too!!

MNS:  How did he respond?

SABRA:  He didn’t.  Some Englishman got on the phone and told me to “piss off”!     

MNS:  Have you discussed this with Ghassan Shitto of the National Coalition of Syrian Revolution and something or another?  The NACOSROF?

SABRA:  He’s staying at a better hotel.  He has Davutoglu, the Turkish FM, hiding in his bathroom because of all the demonstrations.  He says he doesn’t care who runs the FSA because nobody does anyway.  But he invited me over for some barbecue.

“George Sabra?” …..You’ve gotta be joking,” responds President Bashar Al-Assad upon hearing the announcement that the FSA will be commanded by George Sabra. “I’ll have to let our Syrian girl scouts know about this.”     

MNS:  What will be your first act as Commander in Chief of the Fake Syrian Army?

SABRA:  I will appoint General Zod as field commander.  I am in contact with General Zod through Colonel Riyadh Al-As’ad on the Planet Zontar.  We’ll make a great team.  His crutches give him a nice charismatic touch.”

MNS:  Good grief!  Mr. Sabra, General Zod is from a Superman movie and he’s played by Terence Stamp.

SABRA:  I noticed he had a British accent.  But, that’s okay.  Mr. Stamp is welcome to command the armed forces of the New Fake Syrian Army or NAFSA OF NACOSROF!!

General Zod, seen here issuing orders to Libyan Al-Qaeda vermin during a “self-criticism session” in Adana, Southern Turkey.  “Allahu Akbar!  Then, come and kneel before Captain Kangaroo!”

MNS:  But what about Colonel Al-As’ad.  Didn’t he receive his prosthesis yet for the right leg?

SABRA:  I’m afraid the German government will not send weapons or prosthetic devices to us.  That
Teutonic clown, Westerwelle, their foreign minister, put the kibosh on that.  Last thing he told me by phone was: “You don’t have a leg to stand on.”  Ha ha ha.  Isn’t he funny?  He also said that they would not be sending any peg-legs either.  So much for German generosity.  

MNS:  Mrs. Assad, the Syrian First Lady, is said to have laughed wildly after hearing you appointed yourself as Commander of the NFSA.  How would you respond to that?

SABRA:  The doctors always get the nice looking dames.  Guys like me, well, we get the dogs. Ever see my wife?  Her name is Baj’ah.  What a life!

“George Sabra?  That nincompoop?”, asks the photogenic first lady of Syria, Asma Al-Assad.  “That’s like having Dudley Doright in charge of the Salvation Army”.   


_____________________________________________________________________________________

NEWS FROM AROUND THE WORLD.  A LOT OF GIBBERISH TOO, BY THE WAY:

We already know this, but it’s nice to see western media enjoying humble pie:

http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2013/06/05/193039/pro-assad-forces-retake-strategic.html#.Ua8yhdiyTkU

I guess the victory in Al-Qusayr even affected the Bulgarian investigation:

http://english.al-akhbar.com/content/bulgaria-hezbollah-role-bus-bombing-unproven

Intelligent, typically British article about Erdoghan qua Thatcher:

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/turkey-protests-erdoan-is-turkeys-mrs-thatcher–and-hes-not-for-turning-either-8645376.html

Erdoghan and the Pandora’s Box he opened:

http://www.worldbulletin.net/?aType=haber&ArticleID=110603

Laugh your heads off at this NBC nonsense about Al-Qusayr.  Propaganda quality nonsense:

http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/06/05/18771325-syrias-assad-claims-victory-in-major-battle-rebels-say-they-are-being-massacred

Really well-written article for the English about Syria. 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/syria/10100362/Forget-the-British-Empire-Syrias-fate-is-not-ours-to-determine.html

Information is pouring in about Aleppo.  I’ll try to get it to you today.  ZAF

SECOND POST - JUNE 5, 2013 - CAPTAIN KANGAROO TO PERSONALLY COMMAND FAKE SYRIAN ARMY; NEWS FROM AROUND THE WORLD by
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Anonymous
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Well done to the SAA in taking back that town, please keep going and win this fight, the last thing I want to see is AQI take over your country.

Ziad Fadel
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You and me both, brother. Ziad

Anonymous
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Additional info from SANA:


Press TV will put up a video report with a SANA reporter at the scene soon.You can also watch it now on 18:00 hours..

/Mikhas

Anonymous
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Unforunately for Mr. Sabra, there isn’t much left of the FSA for him to command. And it’s not likely they will take orders from a Christian anyway.

Ziad Fadel
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No kidding? I agree. It’s just satire. Stay in touch. Ziad

Anonymous
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hallo Ziad,

I’m so glad about this good news.
Every day my thoughts and prayers are for
Syria with its traumatized people and the
most adorable president family
known to me on earth.

Miraculous Syria for ever, God is with you
with his heroic soldiers of God.
http://www.catholictradition.org/Mary/damascus.htm

Thank you again,
Bernhard

Ziad Fadel
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Dear Bernhard, I had some difficulty downloading the site and I very much want to see it. Any suggestions? Ziad

Anonymous
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Al-Shiteera Nooz Channel has confirmed that Dr. Assad now controls Qusayr. Prince Porky is now stuffing his face with tears running down his cheeks watching his own Al-Shiteera.

Ziad Fadel
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His Al-Jazeera has lost more viewers in the last 6 months than I lost dry skin. Ziad

Souri Homsi
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After having some time to regroup, Western-backed propaganda against the Assad government of Syria regarding the alleged (and erroneous) claims of the use of chemical weapons against rebels death squads and civilians has apparently resumed.

http://www.activistpost.com/2013/06/new-un-chemical-weapons-report-on-syria.html

Ziad Fadel
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It really makes no difference now that we know Russia is squarely behind us. Not to worry. It’s just western news. Ziad

Ryan
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I’m laughing about this, Ziad: “The road around the city is a key supply line from Assad’s Alawite strongholds on the Mediterranean coast to the capital Damascus.” Can’t any of these idiots in the media read a map? Come to think of it, have they even looked at a map to see where this town is located? Just about every story I’ve read in the Judeo-Plutocratic media uses a variation of the sentence above with a few throwing in the word “strategic”. A look at the map shows that Homs is where the main east-west road runs to the coast.… Read more »
Ryan
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And this, too.

“It blamed the attack on ‘terrorists,’ a term used by the government to refer to rebels fighting to overthrow President Bashar al-Assad.”

The media loves to throw this disclaimer around in damn near every story. It must be in the latest AP style book or whatever they use.

Okay, fine. If the media doesn’t wish to call them terrorists, then maybe they should call them “cannibals”. Either word is accurate.

Ziad Fadel
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I agree with you. And it’s not like the SAA can’t pave different roads around an area. What baloney. I agree. Ziad

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Pro-Assad forces attack villages near fallen Syrian border town BEIRUT, June 6 (Reuters) – Syrian troops and Lebanese Hezbollah fighters pushed toward villages near Qusair on Thursday, a day after driving rebels from the border town shattered in weeks of combat. Insurgents seeking to overthrow Syrian President Bashar al-Assad were putting up a fierce fight around the villages of Debaa and Buwayda as their opponents attacked rebel-held territory, activists and a photographer in the area said. The villages were enduring heavy artillery fire, according to the pro-opposition Syrian Observatory for Human Rights. The fall of Qusair after a two-week offensive… Read more »
Ziad Fadel
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Grind them into fetilizer. Ziad

Ray van Ree
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UPDATE 3-Syrian army retakes Golan crossing point-Israeli sources (Recasts with reports crossing now held by Syrian army) BEIRUT, June 6 (Reuters) – Syrian rebels seized a U.N.-manned crossing between Syria and Israeli-occupied territory on Thursday, opposition sources said, but Israeli security sources reported Syrian troops later retook it after heavy fighting. The rarely used crossing, in a U.N.-patrolled demilitarised zone on the Golan Heights, is the only transit point between Syrian and Israeli disengagement lines set in 1974. Battles for its control seemed likely to heighten Israeli security concerns stoked by Syria’s civil war. The British-based Syrian Observatory for Human… Read more »
Ziad Fadel
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And it’s always trumpeted up like some great victory. People are catching on, though. Ziad

Souri Homsi
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Ziad Fadel
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Don’t be. 1000 marines will mean nothing in a war where everyone agrees the U.S. would ten times that number to accomplish anything. I’m posting your article anyways. Thanks,Souri Homsi. Ziad

freegypsyman
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to get an idea about the great suport by hizbollah

at the end of the next vid interestingly to see that the terrorists not even had time to rescue their deads as they usually do

Anonymous
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Ziad Fadel
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I don’t think the U.S. wants to tangle with the bear. Ziad

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